A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've been in a relationship since an year now. I love her and she loves me too. But recently her family got to know about our relationship. Basically I am from a small town area here in West Bengal and she is from a town near Kolkata. Now our problem is her family is forcing her terribly to get married with someone of their choice by the end of this year. She is going through a lot of humiliation from her family and relatives. Although her family is pretty much modern and her mom, dad and elder sister is or should I say was pretty much frank with her. But in this condition they are not supporting me or her either. However she was in a relationship with someone else which was couple of years ago and at that time the guy ditched her for some reason. Then she tried to commit suicide and she was in a very critical condition back then. So I think maybe only for this reason her parents can't trust me on this. Now the situation is getting worse day by day. The pressure on her increasing day by day and sometimes she even feels that losing me is the best way for her. But I know she won't be happy without me, neither will I. Now she is just stuck at her home, parents are not letting her to attend dance classes. She can't even call me. This loneliness of mine is killing me too. But I understand her situation, so I also don't disturb by calling her repeatedly. When she can manage , she calls me and we can only talk for like 2 or 3 minutes. The fact is no one of her family or relatives are supporting her with me. I'm not a bad guy or not of that type of what we call as 420 and I have a small job too and I'm trying for a better one. But still they can't accept me which maybe just because We are in a relationship without their information. Moreover I've got random threats from her elder sister and from one of her cousin brothers about leaving her. I am pretty much confused now what to do and how to tackle this situation by our own. Please help me through this guys. I really love her and can't see her facing these situations and pressures alone, neither I want to lose her. :(Thank You
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 August 2016):
 It is a tough culture when it comes to you meeting someone and falling in love. What I would do is take pen to paper and write a letter to her mother and her father. Tell them how much you want to be with her, tell them how much you miss her, tell them how you would treat her in the future, but also tell them how miserable you both are with each other. Tell them you are worried about there daughter not having you in her life and how tough it is for her.
Now send the letter but do not expect anything. They may read it they may not. But other than doing that and giving them time to think, my guess is your only other option is to run away and live your life together or else apart.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2016): These situation is one of those that I've only seen in the movies and soap operas but hearing it being a real situation and considering where you are living I don't think you have much chances of her family giving you a chance or giving the relationship a chance. Also, asking her to run away and be with you is a choice she would need to make and consider all the factors properly. By her running away she would be giving up her parents and family whose been there throughout her life and giving her encouragement and hope for a bright future. I can't imagine what her family will feel if she does run away. And on the other hand there is her love life. Sometimes in life we make decisions that we later regret. I think you should let her make her own decision on what she wants to do and support her throughout it. if she chooses her family over you, dont be upset. just wish all the best for her and her suitor that they have chosen for her. if she chooses you, all the best to both of you. i understand your pain and your love and i do hope you both find happiness.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (16 August 2016):
 How big a chance will you both take to be together? India has inherent problems regarding relationships - not least cast and arranged marriage.
Your best hope is to run away together and make a new life. I don't think you are going to be seen by the family as suitable husband material for this young woman.
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