A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone im like don't know what to do this is eating me alive i have a wife but im not in love with her when i meet her she already had 2 beautifull girl and we had a baby boy i love them with all i have but the thing is im not in love with my wife no more and i don't know how to tell her cause i know in gonna hurt her alot and i don't want that to happen the only reasson why i haven't tell her is cause of the kids.... please help me im in my 4th deployment in iraq i don't call her like i used to and she always ask me why but i never say anything to her.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Azure Rain +, writes (7 April 2010):
Hi I feel the same way about my marriage and Im pregnant with our first child. Its really sad. Our first year of marriage my husband was deployed to Iraq and it really felt like that deployment put an invisible wedge between us.
I agree that the Love Dare book really helps in reconnecting a lost marriage. I will admit that its kinda hard for me. Im still stuck on day 10. I just tell myself if I ever make it through this book I'll know if my marriage is worth saving.
Try to reconnect by writing emails. Sometimes talking on the phone gets annoying when you don't really feel like talking. I have also tried to reconnect with my husband by writing in a daily journal. We would ask each other a different question everyday and reply with and answer and another question for the next day. For example, I would ask my husband what did he love about me. then I would write the things I love about him. He would answer my question then write his own question and answer.
It helps reconnect only if both parties are willing to try it.
A
male
reader, A Man +, writes (7 April 2010):
Love is a tricky thing. Many people are brainwashed by society to think that love is that wonderful feeling you get when you meet someone new. This is actually infatuation and always goes away. True love comes from years of kindness and trust. I believe any two people can be in love. Now, if she's broken your trust, she'll know why you don't call. But if she hasn't, I highly recommend staying with your wife. You'll be greatly rewarded through love by trying to rekindle the love with your current woman. Try to work out something with your military service so that you can spend more time with your family. It's difficult to keep up a relationship of kindness and trust when your always away.
The best of wishes, and good luck.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (6 April 2010):
 Best thing to do is be honest don't hold on to her because of guilt that does no one any good. Marriage should have taken place after you were completely sure of your feelings for her. You met her with two kids but is going to abandon her with three. Your wife has a right to be happy and its better for you to tell her now that way she can get on with her life and find happiness in someone else s arms.
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