A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up a little over three weeks ago, we broke up once before about 4 months ago. Regardless he has been utterly cold and nasty. We have an apartment together, and he has been living at home since the split. He came once to get most of his clothes, but left his deceased grandmothers pots and pans etc, sweaters, gaming consoles, and half of the things we purchased together like the 51 inch flat screen tv. He has done his fair share of avoiding me, and I havent been going out of my way to bother him. the first week he was persistent about getting his things, and then we had to post pone because I had to leave the state for an ill family member on our day off to where we could sit down and discuss the lease and so forth. Things got worse from there, last week he was supposed to come saturday and then gave me a heads up saturday evening that he would be coming Sunday, and then got nasty with me again, I defended myself and told him all of his things were packed and ready for him to go. He didnt want to pay his half of the lease and all of the other things we said we would discuss so I left it as ok just come get your things then. I cant throw his things out because his name is on the lease and its illegal. Regardless the next day he said he wasnt coming, so I assumed he would be by this weekend. I went out friday night and ran into my mutual friends and him, he left immediatly and didnt say hello. So thats all good and dandy but heres the question... if you want it over so badly why put off getting things you absolutely cant leave behind? Why not just bite the bullet in a sense? Its not like these are wifebeaters its thousands of dollars worth of things and family heirlooms so inevitably he will have to come get them. I've already decided when he does that I wont be there for it. The only reason I was going to be originally was because we both suggested we split things up evenly that we purchased together and sat down to speak about the lease, but it seems he is beyond that now and doesn't want to deal with that responsibility so theres no point in me being there, if he takes anything we havent already discussed then I guess I will have to bring him to court. I just dont understand the logic, if it was me and I broke up with someone I would want to get my things and get it over with immediately. The only thing I can assume is that he loathes me to the point where he would rather put it off as long as possible, but it still doesnt make any sense.Thanks for your help
View related questions:
broke up, grandmother, living at home Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 He is clearly deeply upset and hurt. It seems like you know some of his friends so why not talk them into moving his stuff. You could arrange to be out while it happens so he could come in and take what's his.
In the great scheme of things this is a very short space of time to sort things out and let feelings calm down. You don't seem too bothered about it all so take control and get it sorted - he can't yet he's possibly too broken up.
|
