A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My now ex-boyfriend broke my heart. Twice. And now I'm feeling the need for revenge. Basically we dated a year and a half total - there was a break in between when I caught him in an online affair. But I gave him a second chance only to have him now act shady again and after multiple confrontations - he said he couldnt be in a relationship because he "never saw himself settling down". Said he wanted to remain friends. BS . So it's over. Now I see that the girl he was with while we were on break that first time is writing all over his FB ... I'm sure he told her he is single again. I have an urge to write to her. I know for a fact that while they were together the first time - he was also sleeping with someone else. This is his pattern. She doesn't know this. And frankly I don't want this girl falling all over him - he doesn't deserve it. I also know some legal things that could get him in trouble. Do I spill the beans?Advice!?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (15 June 2012):
Nah, it's come back to bite you. I've been burned, we all have at one point.But I'm a silent, patient person. Silence is golden and you'll see, what comes around goes around.For me in one instance it was 35 years before I witnessed a person get their just deserts, for another it was 5 years and for another it was a miniscule 3 months.But you'll hear about it one way or the other. Patience.In the meanwhile, life moves forward and it moves fast.Think of all the things you want in everything. Think of and visualize the lovely fun things you want. But not about this person. They are gone, the past, at last.It'll hurt, you'll be angry, the emotions will ride the tide they will ride. But when we harness our inner most valued integrity we eventually win better things. You will also now have the knowledge, the power and the all seeing eye into whom you let in next time 'round.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2012): I can't honestly see how mucking around with your ex's life is going to help you, and the fallout would possibly stop you from moving forward. Be the bigger person and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 June 2012):
We have a saying where I'm from. (translated to English it goes like this) Peeing your pants in the winter frost may make you feel warm for a second or 5 but after that all you are left with are wet pants and regret.
Same goes for revenge.In this case will NOT make you feel better. Maybe right when you do it it might but long term, no.
Be GLAD, no rejoice, in the fact that you are no longer with this loser! Obviously he is not a good guy.
Rid yourself of everything that had to do with this guy. E-mails, Facebook, texts, everything and MOVE on. Why climb down into the gutter and be a bitter person? Why be a person making choices based on him? Let him and his ex enjoy each others miserable company. Maybe those two deserve each other?!
Put him in the past. Live your life. Be happy. And most of all forgive yourself for making the mistake of dating and then later of forgive this guy. Learn from it.
Good luck.
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