A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 30 years old, have been married for 6 years and have a 2year old daughter. Ever since I fell pregnant my husband has never come near me. Thats over three years. I have tried talking, arguing suggesting. Nothing works. I have now given up hope of ever having a sexual relationship with him again. I work full time, clean, cook, wash, iron, look after my daughter and am becoming very angry at the amount of time hubby spends sleeping on the settee after work. I get very little help only comments on what is still needing done. HELP. What should I do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, katrinadeon +, writes (26 April 2007):
 i dont really know what to say i just felt i had to answer you as i can imagine how frustrated and ground down you must be feeling.perhaps even a little rejected? i really feel for you .my suggestion is maybe go to counseling or try phoning relate. if your hubby is completely against the idea of counseling then i dont know..has your husband lost interest in other things aswell, he could have the male equivalent to post natal depression maybe he should see a doctor. also you could try getting a babysitter get dressed up and have a romantic meal ready perhaps on a friday night as a surprise for when he finishes work. if he doesnt take any interest in that then calmly tell him to enjoy his meal and say that youre off out.(you could go to a friends or even go to the cinema)the reason i say this is because maybe he is a little insecure even jealous as he knows that as soon as a child comes into the eqation he is not your first priority anymore.by him not giving you any affection and pointing out things that need to be done he ultimately is controlling you. he has your emotions on a string and he knows that.i know that if the meal doesnt work it will be awful having to go out on youre own but perhaps if he sees that you are a woman with needs and a life outside of work and home it will give him the reality check that he needs.maybe it will shock him into realising that you are not going to let his moods stop you from enjoying your life anymore.but that is all in assuming that he knows what hes doing to keep some kind of hold over you if he feels he has lost your attention to your child. it could well be depresson so obviously a doctor....failing that maybe you need a long weekend away together just the two of you see what happens. im really sorry if you think what ive put is a load of rubbish but ive just put what i would do in your situation. i really hope you sort things out xx
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