A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a 23 year old female living with my 44 year old boy friend for the past 3 years and 5 months. we broke up once for about 7 months just after he engaged to me because i fell out of love with him. Yes i lost all attraction for him. anyway for the entire time we were apart he was there waiting on me to come back home to him and because he did no real heart breaking thing for me to leave him, felt guilty and went back to him. We've been back together for about 7 months now. A week ago he got engaged to me again and i accepted again. My problem is, I am reminded that i don't love nor have any attraction for him, we don't go out and if we do have sex I am the leader all the time and did I mention that he does not turn me on in the least! He's not been able to do so since the first year of our relationship. Please tell me what to do? I don't want to hurt him again.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, EBM2008  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 I think you know the answer is--leave, leave leave!
How would you like it if someone only stayed with you because they're afraid to hurt you? That's being with someone out of pity, girlie. No one likes that.
It's quite sad that he hasn't already noticed and done something about it, and even sadder that if he's aware he's holding on due to low self-esteem.
Anyway, you owe it to yourself and to him to be with someone with whom you can have a mutual, healthy relationship.
Best of luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): It says ur a male lol
But thats your fault you should of rejected the proposal, i dont believe you that you say all your attraction went away, i believe that you are just comfortable with him now and arent nervous like when you went on your first date, and talk to him about it, tell him if he's doing anything wrong
Thats about all i can say
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