A
female
age
26-29,
*olly9945
writes:So simple question, what do you guys think are do's and don'ts of a long term relationship(at least more than 4 months). Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 My partner and I are in a long term relationship because we live together, share our lives and want children together.
Before my partner, I was in a relationship for over a year and I wouldn't call that long term because we weren't making plans to spend our lives together.
"Long term" isn't necessarily a definition of time, more like what you intend to do with your time.
I don't know how to answer this question for someone at your age Molly9945 because relationships at your age are very different than "adult" relationships. However I will give you a few dos and don't for the kind of relationship that I am in.
1. DO - Be yourself, don't get into a relationship trying to be the person you think he wants.
2. DO - Share responsibilities (Driving, bills, cooking, cleaning)
3. DON'T - Lie, this will always come back to haunt you.
4. DON'T - Forget about your other friends.
5. DO - Remember person hygiene!
6. DON'T - Be jealous. Lots of relationships are ruined because their other half doesn't like them talking to the opposite of sex. If they wanted anyone else, they wouldn't be with you.
7. DON'T - let yourself go. A lot of couples when they first start dating and consequently fall in love eat out a lot, don't exercise, stop shaving, become very relaxed. Its good to feel relaxed around your partner but its very easy to get lazy, put on weight and stop caring for your health. I put on 50lbs in 2 years without even realising it!
8. DO - Be happy with each other! Resolve issues, don't shut them away. Frequent arguing over little things may be a sign that you aren't right for each other.
9. DO - Indulge in similar interests. My partner got me into motorbikes and gliding (flying non-motor airplanes).
10. DO - Be independent. Relying on your partner for everything is a way to break the relationship.
11. DO - Work on your relationship. Good relationships take work and commitment. Its not all rainbows and glitter. It can be tough work.
12. DO - Be appreciative. Never let a day go by without saying and showing how much your relationship and partner mean to you. Never take a moment for granted. Express how grateful you are for your good fortune, however meek or humble it may be. Appreciation and gratefulness have magic in them. It seems the more we express them, the more reasons we are given to say thank you.
13. DO - Respect your partner. Always listen to their opinions and what they have to say.
14. D0 - Be committed. If you both are committed to creating a functional relationship, agree to start doing it today, without any judgments about the past. Be willing to work in the solution and let go of your need to control the outcome, moment to moment, one day at a time. Joy can only be experienced in the present moment.
HIERARCHY OF A FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP
INTIMACY
LOVE
RESPECT
TRUST
TRUTH
What is a functional relationship?
Without the beginning base of truth in a relationship, trust cannot occur. Without the development of trust, respect will never be born. Without a level of respect for another, a functional relationship of love will not seed and nourish the partners. Intimacy occurs when we become willing to share our whole selves with another in this order. It is the gift we get when we learn to engage in a balanced, loving
and functional relationship.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 November 2010):
 Firstly I don't think long term is less than at least three or four years. Secondly the do's and don'ts can vary by the personalities involved. These kinds of questions net all across the board answers. In other words, your "simple question" is hardly a simple one.
...............................
|
