A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, just some general backround info you need to know.1.I'm a 13 yo. boy2.I don't know if im straight, gay, or bi.I don't know what my orientation is, because it could be hormones, but I find MEN, not boys to be attractive, I also like girls. I fantasize alot about having sex with men, but I never really feel horny or anything that serious about girls. I really want to know if I'm straight, gay, or bi, and if I'm gay/bi, should I come out?
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male
reader, NightLad +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Hello,
You are wise for recognizing that you are at an age when hormones and many other factors play a key role in your sexuality and awakening sense of sexual needs.
Many younger guys find themselves fantasising about people older than themselves, although they date people their own age. Fantasies are normal and healthy because they allow us to find release in attractions and urges that we may never act on in our real-life. People often experience fantasies that may not reflect what they consider part of their actual sexualities. It is all part of the growing process, and not something I think you should worry about too much right now. It may seem like the most important thing in the world right now, but it isn’t something you can rush or ultimately control. Even if you made a conscious effect to avoid certain thoughts or fantasies in the day, there is nothing you can do to stop dreaming about it, right? It is just one of those things that have to run its course.
Since you admit to being confused about your sexual orientation, I recommend that you do not focus on trying to define it with a label just yet. I don’t see there being a need or a rush. Many boys your age are going through the same thing you are. Know that there are a lot of years ahead of you to let the dust settle and find out where your sexual orientation is directed. In time you will notice that more and more of the guys who are going through what you are will be finding out for themselves who and what they are and declaring it, too.
I suggest you read what the American Psychological Association has to say about sexual orientation. Take the information as a primer to familiarize yourself with the terms and meanings for the day you feel you are sure enough to assume a label. That information can be found here: http://www.apa.org/topics/sorientation.html
I hope this helps!
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (8 April 2009):
sounds like straight for me,as in your ages some times you weel find your self fantasizing about different stuff,and you will fantasize about a girl as soon as you start have feelings about her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Who is forcing you to "come out"? Who *needs* to know who you are attracted to? I do not recall a time I "came out" to anyone but to those who were interested in me as more than just a friend and even then, there were only two times I told two men that I prefer women.Labels are to allow others to categorize people and things, to avoid confusion when conversing in selective topics. Otherwise, you are you, whatever sexual preferences you may adhere to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): 1)What's the rush?
2)Why do you want a label so bad?
Let's see, at 13 years old, you have about 60 or more good solid years or life ahead of you to figure it out. How should people here know what you are? And what does it matter? Relax and enjoy.
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