A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, one of my friend's girlfriends bugs me all day over and over again to tell her who I like, and I finally tell her that it's her and she flips out and says she likes me too. Then after about a week or 2 of flirting to each other behind my friends back, he finds out and just asks me to drop the whole thing. I try to drop it, I tell his girlfriend that I can't talk to her, but she still calls every night and we end up talking for like 3 hours. Then eventually she breaks up with him, and he decides never to talk to me. Me and his girlfriend decide to keep our relationship out of public view, and try not to tell anyone about it. But after about a week of this relationship, she tells me she wants to be single, but we could still be friends with "benefits". Is there anything wrong with me that would make her want to do this? Does she want to be with 2 guys at once?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2008):
 Hi, thanks for the update. I've known some people who cannot deal with not having a 'back-up' boyfriend or girlfriend, as the case may be. They line someone else up when they realize that their current relationship is headed for the rocks, and then use the back-up as a kind of stop-gap person until they move on to the next bf/gf or back to the old bf/gf.
Just cover your heart, hon, I think she may not have your feelings in mind, or your best interests at heart.
Take care.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): Thanks for the responses, well, I've decided to talk to her tonight about this whole situation.. and I'm not really sure what to tell her because I still like her a lot but I feel like she doesn't like me anymore. This morning I saw her and her old boyfriend driving in the same car out of the school parking lot, and then in the hallway I saw them talking and they just stared at me when they noticed me. I don't believe that she seriously intends on being a friend with benefits though, I think she might just be saying that to soften the blow.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 June 2008):
Sounds like you've got a drama queen on your hands. She's not as interested in being in a relationship as she is in being desired and admired. You're going to have to figure out for yourself if you can stand the ups and downs being with a girl like this will entail, but unless you have a lot of self-confidence and the willingness to turn a blind eye when she's flirting with someone else, I wouldn't recommend it.
It may just be a phase she's going through, but I expect she'll break a lot of hearts before she finally decides to settle down. If she decides to settle down.
This for me is a 'cover your heart, Indy!' moment. You know the Indiana Jones movie? If you really like her, and can accept the status of non-boyfriend sex partner, aka friend with benefits, then fine, but if you want more, then I think she's not a good bet for you right now.
Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2008): I personally think this girl is playing with your head. I think she cant decide what she wants so she is playing you both i think you should just be friends and nothing more. I think you you should move on and get out there and find a girl that cares for you and appreciates you. I also think you should try and patch thing up with ur friend as no girl is worth your friendship, girls walk in and out of your life and friends stay in your life, this is from a girls point of view good luck xxx
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