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Does the "right" person ever really come along?

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Question - (4 August 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 5 August 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Dating related question!

Does the "right" person ever come along and you live happily ever after?

I'm always told that "the one" or "the right person" will always come along?

does it ever?

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A male reader, David Lewis United Kingdom +, writes (5 August 2006):

David Lewis agony auntI believe the right person does come along, but only when you are not looking.

I had been through a turbulent relationship and thought I had lost 'The One'.

I got back to being myself and met somebody quite like no other, she has all the qualities I ever dreamed of.

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A male reader, Wild Thaing Canada +, writes (5 August 2006):

Wild Thaing agony auntOn God's green earth there are over six billion souls wondering the same thing. There are millions of people who would be right for you.

I surmise that this silly notion of "the one" was developed by a brilliant writer who was too naive at the time he or she came up with the idea. Yet the power of his or her words took the equally naive by storm and a myth is born. As you can tell I don't believe it.

Martini is correct - for each of us there exists a set of compatible people in the world. Over time most of us find a subset of these people and build relationships, both romantic and non-romantic.

Believe me, if you patiently work on the non-romantic relationships you will find many "right" ones among them, and the romantic relationship will become a sweet bonus. Good luck and take care.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006):

I always believe that there is a set of people in this world that are compatible with each person - either friends, lovers, colleaques, mentors, peers, and/or family.

The 'right' person is relative to your upbringing, your person interests, trait/attribute connections, chemical mechanics, and so on.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (4 August 2006):

DrPsych agony auntSurely 'the one' is a bit of a biological improbability...there are lots of 'ones' or 'mr rights' for everyone - the odds of finding one person in the world who is the only suitable partner are a bit grim aren't they? I think the human race would have died out several 1000's of years ago if that was the case.

I think early dating in your teens and 20's is part of a learning curve - you get to decide what traits you like and dislike in people. When someone suitable comes along you appreciate them because you have learned a lot from past experience. It may feel like they are 'the one' but there will be lots of single people out there who could be potential partners but it is just a question of finding one of the many!

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