A
male
age
41-50,
*andalf
writes:Does she like me is there a chance of a possible romance?Met this girl we get on like house on fire but has been through hell her partner died leaving her at twenty two "widowed" with two children.Even though this was about four or five years ago she says shes still raw and still hurting to some people four or five years is quite a bit of time to get over losing someone (if you ever do)especially for someone so young. The children dont live with her as she couldnt cope with the grief she was pregnant with the second child when her partner died in an accident.She says that as soon as she mentions the children men run a mile and have just used her for sex with no intention of being honourable. Weve kissed and almost got physically close but I stopped us from getting too close because I need her or want her to wake up next to me with no regrets. I want to be her best friend as well as her lover.She went through a stage after that of telling me she could never be interested in me but since then after a week or so of awkwardnesss we seem to have patched things up and repaired our friendship.She says men regard her kids as baggage but shes so wonderful is there any chance of our friendship blossoming into a romance with patience , or will her broken heart never see that I genuinely care for her?
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male
reader, gandalf +, writes (12 July 2007):
gandalf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFollowing on from my story she decided to give it another go with an ex even though he had made it clear that he would never take on her children describing them as baggage (which is an insult to anyones children in my eyes) and after being stood up a few times admitted she felt he was just using her for sex. As you might expect they recently split again because a relationship will never last based on purely sex there has to be something more and he betrayed her (not with anyone else) just something I wont mention here. We have been out for a drink since but she wouldnt talk about how she felt .
In some ways she has opened up a little she has told me she has felt suicidal at times I reminded her that she had two children to live for and that she had a choice her late partner did not. Plus rather selfishly I told her if she harmed herself I'd be devastated. She appeared to have a cut on her arm she told me it was accident but what if she had self harmed herself over her boyfriend? Her main point of depression is going back to an empty flat when most mothers will be with their children , I dont want to replace their dad (could never do that) but I'd love to try to reuinite the family and I adore their mother.
There sometimes is a wall of anger she puts up sometimes she lashes out at me and I don't think I deserve half of it. Is this a case of hurting the one she loves? do her feelings for me run deeper than she lets on? and will I ever break those walls down?
From the way I make it sound it might sound like a losing battle but you have to know her to believe that shes worth it. Can love beat her current depression and insecurities?
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (7 July 2007):
 She had someone that she loved and had children with and he was taken away from her.
Maybe she feels that anyone she gets too close to she will lose.
If you really feel that strongly for her then tell her that, tell her that the children are not seen by you as baggage and that you want to have her no matter what.
You sound like a very geniune caring man, so if you think she is worth the wait then just be there for her give her all the support she needs and i'm sure in time she will see you for who you are.
Take care.xx.
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