A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my husband for 7 months now. We've been in a relationship (mostly long distance) for almost 5 years. I would be able to see him 3 months every year until I moved to him last december.The past 3 months, he has given me no intimacy, no matter how I ask for it or try to initiate. Before we married, we had issues when I would come to see him where he would be intimate and affectionate, but then pull away, saying he thinks he loves me like a sister instead of a lover. He'd always eventually change his mind once I went back home.Anyways, when I would be away from him, he would want to be very intimate, but whenever I would be physically with him, sex was fairly sparse, and/or quick. Thinking about it, most sessions only lasted 10-12 minutes, and mostly seemed to be about getting a means to an end. I know it's not an issue regarding his sexual stamina, since if I was doing things for him, he could last hours.Well, here we are, where there is plenty of affection with hugging or kissing, and I do feel loved, but absolutely no intimacy. Last summer, he has also expressed to me his want for me to sleep with other men. (I've only had two sexual partners and I'm not into having sex with strangers.) I've tried to get him to talk to me about this stuff by writing about it but he only came and gave me a comforting hug, and didn't speak to me about it. It scares me if his love is platonic. I don't feel like he is very attracted to me, or has strong desire for me, but I do feel love from him. I want things to work but I honestly feel more like I have a roommate I am obligated to cook for, rather than a husband.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2012): He's answered my question about this today, but all he said is basically "I don't know if it's me or you" and that he just hasn't felt like it, and it doesn't make him miserable.
I'm not going to have sex with men I don't know to appease something like this, though. It makes me extremely uncomfortable and sick feeling. If I were to do that, I'd want it on my own terms so I feel comfortable.
A
male
reader, sunilal  +, writes (19 August 2012):
it is confusing. i think you both have different perspectives (off course people will have). try to think as the way he thinks. i think he wants you to be more slutty kinda person. that could be the reason for him suggesting about sex with others. i would suggest you to understand him also. try to get him talk about his sexual interests. see what he likes. if he likes you be another man try sharing his fantasies and be supportive.
try to enjoy his thinking.
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