A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a lovely boyfriend for over a year now and we get on great only problem is we don't have sex very often. He is very shy about his body and to be honest i don't know why as he has a lovely lean body. Anyway, he insists that he has a low sex drive and that a his previous long term girlfriend was very selfish during sex in that she would insist that he satisfy her no matter what even if he did not feel like sex (not sure that i honestly believe that one) anyway, what do you think? Could he have low drive or is there something more to it. He is unbelivably shy about sex.
View related questions:
sex drive, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): Oh don't worry about it, you are not the only one suffering from this dilemma! My boyfriend of six months is extremely shy about sex as well, and we have had a few chats about it. One of his previous girlfriends apparently text messaged during sex, another wouldn't do anything with him unless he bought extremely expensive things for her.
My best advice is to talk to him, gently. Remember though that the male ego is like a big glass bubble. If you poke it ever so slightly it may break and the situation will get worse. The way I brought it up was just by simply saying, "Hey, I notice you're still really shy about being sexually intimate, is there any way I can help you to be less shy?" Chances are that this will hurt him a little at first, but he will hopefully be grateful for your straightfowardness. Best of luck, I feel for ya.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 The best advice I can give in this situation is just to love him.
...............................
A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (28 January 2008):
The ex girlfriend story sounds like an excuse. Maybe he has low self esteem but he should be comfortable with you by now and realize you love him! Do you tell him you find him sexy? Men love that and believe me it'll be a big payoff for you too! Make him feel like he's the sexiest man in the world!!! If that doesn't work, maybe the problem is deeper some people have hormone imbalances. Is he on any meds ? esp. psych pills can lower sex drive... could be many things but meds esp. ask him.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): I suppose it all depends on what you call often. One person's often might be three times a week, another's might be once a month.
All you can really do is talk to him about what you see the problem as, and see if he can alter his outlook on the subject. I guess you need to reassure him that you're not at all like his ex, and if occasionally you don't 'arrive' before he does - or indeed at all - it's no big deal.
Phil
...............................
|
