A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boss acts like he hates me. One time he had to make an announcement and when I looked up at him, he saw me and immediately turned to another co-worker and looked at him instead. He'll avoid eye contact with me or turn and look away. He'll exclude me from conversations and yells at me over trivial matters. (I think he takes his anger out on me because he has a lot going on in his personal life.) Other times we'll have a laugh and joke around. I have a silly sense of humor and sometimes he'll just start cracking up. I went back to ask him something and saw him still smiling about it. One morning I came in dressed up and he seemed to be staring at me. He came over to ask me a question and seemed to fumble with his words. I saw him later and he seemed upset with himself because he is engaged to someone. I don't want to mess up his engagement, so I have tried to be more serious and quiet, but this seems to make him nervous around me.I don't know what to do- he's either yelling at me or really nice to me. He can be funny and charming- then he's screaming about something. Am I doing something wrong? Does he hate me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 February 2015):
 "my boss acts like he hates me"
"I don't want to mess up his engagement"
Wow you give yourself a lot of power don't you?
before I go any further... be honest with me..
HOW DO YOU feel about YOUR BOSS?
if he was NOT your boss
if he was NOT engaged...
if you met him say in a club... what would you think and what would you want?
My "boss" (the guy that approves my leave and does my evaluations) never talks to me. never compliments me, never notices if I'm dressed up or not (and if he does I do not notice nor do I care) I show up. I do my job. I go home.
You are bringing something to this mix with your feelings whether or not you are even aware of them... so give it some thought and then evaluate what you are bringing to the relationship with your boss.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2015): You haven't done anything wrong. He sometimes has to remind you who's boss. Then he feels guilty about it; because you're a nice person and a good employee. He may find you attractive, but he keeps you off-balance by not allowing you to study his moods and figure him out. It's working. Just don't take anything personally, it's always about work. He has a playful side; but he also has to remind you when it's strictly business.
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