A
female
age
41-50,
*elena547
writes:My boyfreind and I have been together for just over a year. We had our honeymoon stage and roughly around 5 months things started to get a bit confusing, for one reason or another i started asking him all sorts of questions that I was not even questioning myself but for some reason they just came out of my mouth, they were questions like, " do you still love me", :" do you still want to be with me ect", the list goes on, and it would be almost everyday id ask him. eventually he got annoyed which i understand anyone would including me. i came to realize after seeing a physologist that it had allot to do with my past, in my past question on this site, i had a freind of 10 years rap mee, in turn its caused me to have a bit of insucurity that i cannot control but i am seeking help for. Now my current boyfreind is fully aware of all of this. now the questions have stoped i dont ask anymore, but his attitude has changed, he use to assure me that he loves me and would ask on a regular basis that he would like to see me, he would say wonderful things that made my heart melt, any girls dream guy, hes the one. except now hes become cold, when i use to joke about certian things he would laugh, and joke back, now he responds with " ok" or takes me seriously, he doesnt assure me anymore i have to ask him whats on his mind for him to tell me, wherease before he would JUST SAY IT, he had more life to him than he does now. He recently started working and he developed this "GRUMPY" mood. i wouldnt even say much to him and he would freak out call me names ect. he doesnt show me that he has any want to see me as much as he use to, and when i ask him why all these things have changed he gives me SERVERAL differnt excuses which confuses me greatly. he use to be the straight forward guy and would say it how it is, nwo i feel he beats around the bush and doesnt make any sense sometimes, hes also getting on my back about not having a lisence, and constantly asusmes im delaying it, when in no means is that the case. i just cant afford it right now as i was injured at my work and im on workers compensation so i have to take care of myself. and he knows i dont have alot of cash to do everything but hes on my case as though hes my father.so in addition to all of this its causing me to feel that he no longer loves me, and that somehow down the line my questioning to him has shut his feelings down. if there is anyone out there that can give me some adivce as to what may be going through his head or how i can boost his personaltiy back to seeing that im still the same girl he met to begin with . id appricate it, or how i can see if he truly still loves me, im torn apart right now cus i feel like im pulling teeth out from a crocodile when a relationship SHOULD BE EASY AND IT SHOULD FLOW. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, selena547 +, writes (24 April 2010):
selena547 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk i probubly should have clarified the calling name part, i was very vaige, he is NOT verbal abussive, he calls me names like cry baby, and askes why im whinning, for me when i feel that hes being cold ill ask him those questions and hell say im being a cry baby
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (24 April 2010):
 You said this guy calls you names? I'd drop a guy cold the moment he started that crap. In fact, I did once, and wouldn't take him back no matter how much he apologized. Verbal abuse is just as intolerable to me as physical abuse.
You already know what to do, as you know that a relationship shouldn't be about coldness and such. You never should have to ask "do you love me" especially after a year. You can't change a guy, and if the personality you see in him after the honeymoon period is over is not one you can live with, you know what to do.
So find the courage and do it. It will hurt for a bit, but it's like pulling out a splinter from your hand - it hurts like crazy when it's happening, but it's also a relief.
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