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Does he mean we aren't serious or what?

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Question - (21 November 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been seeing Mr X for a month now and as of thus weekend still never asked what he wants/is looking for. But he lately seems to be pulling away a bit. Yesterday I called him on it and said I just dont know what's going on with us and that I can't turn my feelings for him on and off. Because he seems to kinda be there and then not.

He has crazy stuff going on right now but still..

He had mentioned talking the next day and told me not to

Get upset. That he cared about me

Well today we spoke and he again mentioned that

In regards to "us" I shouldn't get worked up about things

Does that mean we aren't anything serious or does it mean

He really likes me and its fine. I'm leaning towards the earlier because he hasn't made plans to see me

PS we've known each other for many years before the dating

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

I think you are pressing you too much commitment too early. Let the relationship run a bit. Don't over-think. You will seem a bit insecure if you try to pin down down after a month. All is well so relax and see how things unfold.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

Yes - but too late now. At least that's on hold in the meantime

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

Gloom,you have only been with him a month and you talk about not being able to turn feelings on and off? You would think you had been with him years. Why not demand a ring to be put on your finger?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntdon't you think you should have had the "where are we going are we monogamous?" BEFORE you had sex?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011):

Jmtmj- well since we started sleeping together, yea. I want to know he's not

Sleeping with other people etc

That's just a personal guideline for me

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (21 November 2011):

Jmtmj agony auntYou basically dropped the "where do you see this relationship going" line after only a month??

Yikes.

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (21 November 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

I think he meant that you shouldn't worry too much. I think he's happy with you, and he wants to continue the relationship. Do not over think too much, analyze too much. You mentioned you both know each other for years, but understand that it has been only a month as a couple.

I think you should enjoy the relationship, and be happy. Instead of keep asking him, why don't you enjoy the time you spend with him, talking about other things, loving him, make happy memories, be pleasant... If you do that, I think he will want to spend more time with you. Nobody likes to be pressure, and being interrogated. My guess is, that's the reason why he might be a little distance this past week? What matters is that you are a couple, and you are together. I hope I make sense?

Good luck

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