A
female
age
36-40,
*hortandSweet
writes:Hello!Somebody please help me. I started work here a year ago and I've got to know a guy really well... lets call him J. We've spent a lot of time together, lunch breaks, nights out at weekends, etc etc. He says i mean the world to him, that I'm special and that I'm like the closest person to him like his best mates. He sends me really affectionate poems but none of them directly telling me if he likes me or not. Sometimes we joke around and he insults me but as a joke, i do it to him as well as we both know its a laugh. He seems to get a bit funny if other men are mentioned and he will start insulting me but trying to sound like hes joking. When we go out he looks into my eyes, he cuddles me, kisses me etc etc, but the next day its like it never happened. It's doing my head in, if he likes me why doesn't he just tell me. Do you think he has strong feelings for me, or maybe hes like this with all women? Please get back to me!! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 May 2007):
 My guess is that he probably likes you but not enough to make a relationship, and is not affection with you in the WORK PLACE. As for if you are special to him, very likely...as for if you are UNIQUE to him...unlikely. If you were that UNIQUE to him, he would have made his move already. So either he is gay, and sees you as a friend, or he would like a sexual friendship with you but is not into a relationship with you. The priority for him seems to maintain relations properly in the work place.
-FBK
A
female
reader, ShortandSweet +, writes (16 May 2007):
ShortandSweet is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi,
Thanks for your reply.
I haven't really seen him with other women to be honest, he works upstairs and i work downstairs, and when we're out together he doesn't really pay any attention to anyone except me, he does jokingly eye up women which makes me think he can't be interested in me sometimes though. I know he is flirty with some women because he tells me, but with me it doesn't feel flirty, it feels passionate & hes always wanting to cuddle me.
So many people have said to me just go ahead and ask him out, but there is no way i have the courage to do that. And also theres the worry of our friendship being affected or him rejecting me, that would make things too awkward.
I know in my head i'm not going to ask him out so what i'm looking for i guess is for people to be able to point out the signs for me and tell me if i'm picking up the right signals, like if their just friendly or if people think it sounds like he fancies me. Grrrrrrr it's driving me insane, sorry!
Thanks again,
L
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (16 May 2007):
 Well is he like that with other women? I'm sure you've seen him with other women if you've known him for a year. Of course the easiest course of action is just to ask him out. Who cares if he says no? There's a couple of seconds of awkwardness and then everything goes back to normal. And if he says yes then it could be the start of something amazing.
CD
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