A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If a man no longer wants sex with his partner, is it because he no longer is attracted to her or is not in love with her anymore? Or can a man be in love and attracted to a woman but rarely want sex?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): My husband (then boyfriend) had a low sex drive too when we met. He seemed to lose interest pretty quickly and I was always ringing up my friend asking why my new boufriend isnt interested in sex. Although it caused many arguments, I eventually thought it would be easier to live with someone with a low sex drive than someone who wanted it all the time, so I married him.Little did I know that the low sex drive meant loss of interest and then I lost interest because it was very unsatisfying, then he went behind my back and cheated with various other women. Very painful thing to happen. So I guess as Daniel the love doctor suggested, it could be lack of interest.I would not advise staying with someone when this issue is causing you and he so much unhappiness and stress. It doesnt get any better. Best wishes.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell he was interested at first. we had it 3 or 4 or 5 times a week. Then after a few months he would start to reject me. We have talked many times and he assures me he loves me, is attracted to me but he just is not interested in sex. He says it would be the same with any other girlfriend, after a few months his sex drive drops off.I just don't understand, how can you love someone and not want to show them physically? I understand that he is tired from work, but if you really love someone, like I do him, you don't care. I know we do love each other as we are very close emotionally and talk about everything, and I know he would not cheat.I just don't understand how someone can not want sex. Now sex is awkward because we rarely do it and sometimes he loses his erection and sometimes I lose interest. I think it started when I told him I don't have orgasms from sex. I think his exes could or used to fake, so I think with me he thinks it is too much effort because I take so long to finish and only from fingers. I don't know why but I think he takes it personally that he cannot just touch me and I come. He said once he dreads sex with me because I am hard to please. but I am young and need to experiment to find out how it all works. But I cannot know if we rarely have sex!!!I think the situation has just spiralled worse ad worse until now he just has sex to keep me happy. it has lost its meaning. I just don't know what to do because apart from that I feel we are perfect for each other. I just dont know what else to do because talking doesn't work. It is like a taboo with him now. he will just get angry if I bring the subject up and so I am afraid to do so. We only talk about it when he brings it up and usually says he is sorry for being a bad boyfriend and he feels guilty but he just isn't interested. What I want to know is, does this mean that really he is no longer interested in me sexually as a woman? Would he just stay in a relationship with me because it is easy? Why would someone stay with someone they don't want to have sex with?
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A
female
reader, janice201149  +, writes (2 September 2011):
 That was the sex on how affecting the relationship. I think sex is not the only factor that you may know how much he loves you. There are lots of cause why men have a low sex drive it might be stress or having sexual dysfunction. But the problem has a solution. Find out how to treat that by reading male enhancement guide to read article about men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): It's quite unusual to be in a loving relationship with someone and be attracted to her but no longer want sex with her. There could be a lot of reasons. The ONLY way forward is to talk to him about it get him talking to you about why the change. If you have to, get the both of you to a counselor.
If he refuses to discuss it with you or see someone about it, then your relationship may be over. It is unreasonable for you to stay with someone that selfish.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (1 September 2011):
 Well there could be a number of reasons for his low sex drive in this case. And I think it may be becuase... 1. Lack of Interest. Interest is always a factor. And many times in relationships when that sex spark starts to fade, things become sort of routine, and quite frankly, unexciting. If this is the cause, you may want to spice things up a bit by dressing in sexy lingerie, and/or preparing a romantic evening filled with candles, foreplay food, and soft music. Or you may want to try roleplaying as well.2. The chance of ED. I doubt in your case, your man has Erectile dysfunction. But there could be a variety of reasons causing low sex drive like stress, lack of sleep, being too tired from work, and poor nutrition. But the off chance that he does have ED, I recommend that you/he check out the article I wrote for this site at: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/guys-what-to-do-if-youre-suffering-from.html 3. The possibility of him seeing someone else. You could never rule out cheating. It's not uncommon for someone to still love or be in love with an individual but decide to sleep with someone else. It happens many times. But before you accuse him of cheating, have a discussion with him, and find out what's going on. Hope this helps! :^)
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A
male
reader, mistermann +, writes (1 September 2011):
It's difficult to offer an opinion without any background. Has he always had a low sex drive? If not, how long has he had a low sex drive? Did he suddenly switch from a high to low drive with no explanation? Are there any current events or triggers in his life that could explain a change in behaviour? How long have you been together?
Relationships are not all about sex and you can't judge a persons love for you solely based on your sex life. There are many other factors you have to take into consideration.
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