A
male
age
36-40,
*SofA
writes:I have been in a relationship with a girl for about 2 months now but we have been hanging out as if we were a couple for about 3 months. I have known her for about a year and have always been attracted to her. Our relationship started out with her being very sexual and it felt like she was genuinely attracted to me. I have been a listening ear, a cuddly shoulder, I have given her flowers multiple times and I have always comforted her when she is in need. I have made her picnics and taken her on dates. She started out thinking I was a "player" type of guy and that I got whatever girl came my way. She was very surprised when I told her that I had only been with one other girl and just ONE time (basically a virgin). She is my first real girlfriend and I have given her everything she has ever asked for and then some. I try to keep it romantic but it almost feels like the harder I try the less she finds me attractive. Sure she says how HOT i am and how she LOVES my muscles and everything but she seems to have distanced herself a little bit. She was in a tough relationship with a guy in the past (about 2 years ago) where the guy was actually seeing 3 or 4 girls at the same time.My question is: "Do you think this girl is still attracted to me but she is wary of the situation because a relationship means giving your all and either having it be permanent or end in heartbreak - or - do you think that she lost her attraction to me due to my genuine willingness to covet her the way I do(do I make myself too vulnerable to her)?" I genuinely love her and she knows that. The way she acts towards me now just seems more distant than it used to be. I hope she isn't taking me for granted...
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male
reader, USofA +, writes (30 September 2009):
USofA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. I have been relying on her for rides and such because I lost my license from a DWI conviction in April. I get my license back in October. She seemed very attracted to me when I was wearing an ankle bracelet and she seemed to enjoy seeing my jail badge with me looking absolutely terrifying. Maybe she does love the "bad boy". Maybe she isn't ready for a genuine guy. Hopefully I can keep her around long enough to get my "bad boy" persona back.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 September 2009):
Sometimes, a man has to be a man. Girls do like nice guys, but you do have to be manly. Why don't you ask her why she's becoming more distant?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): Maybe you're coming on too strong. Tone down the romance a bit, make her come looking for you some of the time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2009): It sounds to me as though she was initially attracted to you because she thought you were the "bad boy" type. Perhaps after she found out you weren't, it turned her off a little and she doesn't know how to handle being in a relationship with a genuinely good guy. If everything you say is true, then maybe she's just scared of the unknown.
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