A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I asked a question yesterday about a class reunion that my bf is going to........... we are in our sixties and he will not allow me to go because he will be staying with his sister and brother-in-law and they do not know that we are back together. He broke up with me in july and he is being a real jerk now about this reunion. he says that he made arrangements in july to stay with his sister and he acts as if this cannot be changed. this is bull crap. His sister and he husband do not know that we are back together and they would have a fit. they control this mans life just as his children do. he says that he makes his own decisions but this is not true. i am a very lonely person and i don't want to be alone. this is the only reason that i stay with this man that has no back bone. do you think that i should tell him that either i go to the reunion or i will get out of his life? he was told by a counselor to tell his family that we were back togeter 3 weeks ago and he has yet to tell them. please tell me your opionion and advise me what you think i should do. we dated for 2 years 9 months and i am very much in love with him. he tells me that he loves me but i am beginning to doubt it. do you think if he loves me, he will make arrangements to take me to the reunion? please help.i am very depressed over this. i have been staying with him and i really hate to return to my apt. thanks
View related questions:
broke up, depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): Presumably you will not be staying with his sister if you go to the reunion?
Basically, I'd say if you want to go to the reunion, then go. Don't wait for him to take you! Whose reunion is it, anyway? His school, university, whatever, or yours??
I would only ask why, if he broke up with you in July, you are now back together?
Generally speaking, once a relationship ends, it ends. So far as he/she is concerned, you no longer inhabit the same planet, so to speak. You go your separate ways, and don't even try to be friends. Because, as you know, remaining friends makes it very difficult to get over the breakup and move on with your life.
You need to face your depression and loneliness and reluctance to move back to your apartment. Yes, that is very hard, but you can't depend on this man. You have to begin to make your life without him in it. Because it doesn't sound as if he's very "invested" in the relationship.
Have you thought about getting counselling for yourself in order to explore and deal with these issues?
Good luck in moving on with your life!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): Dont get yourself depressed about it sweetie, I think you are absolutely right to demand to go to the reunion, I think that your man is weak and chooses not to take you so he doesn't have to face his family. I also think that no matter how old you are, you can do so much better, not that he treats you badly but its the way he is making you feel. don't let him hide you away, if he wants this to work he will face his fears and take you to the reunion.
...............................
|
