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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,Recently, I've been through some drama with my crush. I met (and fell in love with) him two years ago, and let's face it-we're not as close as we were back then (there's been a LOT of drama between us over the past two years). Well, a close friend of mine keeps assuring me that someday, my liking him will bring us closer together. She said that one of my old crushes told her that that's what happened between me and him (he is now one of my closest guy friends). She thinks that the same thing is already starting to happen between me and this guy (last time he talked to me, he was REALLY nice. She was there, and she noticed his niceness, too). Do you think she's right?Jaded
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007): You know, its really hard to tell! Have you been actively dating him for two years, or simply had a crush on him and hoping it would progress to going out as bf/gf?In any event, it takes more than liking someone to bring you closer together, you know. Especially as you said there's been a lot of drama in the past. You need to settle the issues behind the dramatics, and go out together, concerts, out for lunch or dinner or coffee or a drink, social activities and see if you enjoy spending time in one another's company while doing those things. Shared experiences that are good and fun for both of you is one thing that tends to make for more closeness.Also, being able to talk together openly, and if there are things you find troublesome, to be able to discuss them in a calm, reasonable way, WITHOUT dishing out blame or accusations, or jumping to conclusions - and that means you BOTH need to talk reasonably and calmly, by the way! Being able to say clearly what's on your mind, and to really listen (pay attention) to what he says to you.Good luck!
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