A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:We have been married for 8 years now and were courting for almost 4 years before marriage. Everything was going great and we have had a very satisfying and fulfilling relationship. We understood each other perfectly and cared for each other. Until one day when my husband told me that he had sex with a prostitute on an official trip. He said he doesn't know why he did it but it was unintentional. he still loves me a lot. This happened around 2 years back...after that he has had many opprtunities to go on official trips outside the country but he somehow passed them onto other colleagues and other times I dissuaded him to go on such trips, I am scared that this will be repeated. Earlier I trusted him so much but now eventhough I try hard I just can't seem to come to terms with it and don't trust him anymore the way I used to. In fact I get weird thoughts of actually going to an unknown place and transforming myself into a prostitute and feel the freedom. I want to have sex with someone else other than him. In fact recently I also tried reviving my ex-boyfriend and visualised myself having sex with him. I feel we have lost the passion, love I guess is still there but deviod of any overwhelming emotion. Life seems quite drab, earlier I would surprise him on his special days and make sure we have a good time, but now I rarely feel like doing so.I have actually shared all these thoughts with him to which he says that he did the biggesr blunder of his life by doing such an act and more so by telling me the truth. Now I wonder it's been 2 years since then so why is it that this still haunts me. I am not narrow minded and completely understand that such things can happen, perhaps could have happened with me, but I question myself is it only this incident for may be it's a phase that comes in everyone's life after years of being together. Is it that we need time off from each other to realise, understand and appreciate how much we still love each other or value each other. I need your honest answrs guys, I am confused and feel pathetic at times.
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female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (16 January 2011):
Sure. Space does make a person realize what they have. When my boyfriend left me I realized what I had and did a lot of changing. It hurt that he was gone, but that had to happen for me to realize that.
A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (16 January 2011):
 I'm sorry that happened to you. I think it still haunts you because you still don't understand why it happened and your worried it will happen again. I think you should trust each other and believe it won't happen again. When you say time away do mean like a vacation from each other? I have heard it said that time apart make the love stronger. Things happen and we don't understand why. Sometimes it a higher being throwing us a curve ball to make us stronger. To make a love stronger. It like they are testing us to see if we can pull through or if we will fall apart. I hope that things work out well for you and your husband and i hope that this helps you. Please let me know if it does. Good luck my friend.
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