A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone ever been involved with someone who wasn't ready to be in a full blown relationship, and then later after some time apart, the person wants to be with you afterall? I dated a guy for 8 months, but he was still hurting from a break-up, was having job troubles and wanted to move to another city for work. So at the end of 8 months, he found a great job in another city and left here. We never had any closure, and I miss him dearly. I know he liked me and misses me, but wasn't looking to be tied down yet.Do you think in a few years, there's even a small chance of him coming back to me? I know it's a dumb question, and I'll move on hopefully in a week, but I'm curious if that ever happened to anyone here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): No, I don't think so at all in this situation. You were his "rebound", he wasn't with you because he thought you were the right woman for him, he just wanted someone who would give his ego a big boost and allow him to lick his wounds and heal. He will never be into you, ever, you probably are not even his type. He just used you to avoid the painful emotions he was going through after his break up and he is probably not the type of guy that wanted to improve himself and think very deeply about why his relationship broke up.
You deserve better, forget this guy completely, forget about closure, it doesn't exist anyway, and move on with your life. Leave your heart open for a man who really wants to be with you and can give you his whole heart.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (12 December 2009):
I'll tell you what's happened to me. He said he was ready and that "things are different now" and that he wants to be that "perfect guy for me that I think about all the time" about 7 months ago. Haha what joke. I'll tell you, I did almost fall for it, but I'm glad I did not jump into that with two feet. He hadn't changed whatsoever and things were not different. He was still the emotionally unavailable retard that he was before. He too had been "hurt" and laid off for the season when I met him (I know, it's a real sob story) and jerked me around with his yes, no, maybe so crap until I eventually got tired of it and left. It's been 2 years since I first met him, and I recently heard from him again about 2 weeks ago. I just ignored him, I don't really care what he wants anymore.
I would say though, if he does come back around to you (and they usually do) make sure that he proves to you that he's ready. Don't fully open your heart allowing him to take full advantage of it, only to crush it. Just take it VERY slowly...take everything with a grain of salt and you be the one in the control. And one slip up of past behavior, you cut him off because they usually don't change. They just have to find some woman desperate enough to put up with their crap and willing to take whatever someone will give them.
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