A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know all about different types of contraception and the effects and side-effects and popularity of all different types of contraception. I'm trying to be very open with my mum about everything but obviously not too much detail and i was just wondering, for all the mums out there and because i'm not a mum i dont know the answer, Do mums appreciate honesty? And dads for that matter too. Is it better to lie and sneak around, with your parents oblivious, or is it better to be honest and open and let your parents know that you're smart and you're not doing anything stupid? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 As a Mom who has gone through this in the recent past, my kids are 22 and 26, I can honestly say that opening the doors and talking gave me the opportunity to give them the benefit of my experience without being judgmental. I read a great article about being an "experimental learner" - in other words, learning things the hard way. I recognize that everyone has to learn things for themselves. As a parent, I have to tell you that it IS HARD, stepping back and watching them go through all of the hardships and choices. The fact that we can talk openly, I hope, has spared them a few of the hardships that I experienced. And as far as sneaking around and lying, well, most Mums know when that is happening, we just sit on our hands and worry. I'm sure that she would appreciate the opportunity to give you the benifit of her accumulated wisdom. The are a LOT of myths, rumours and half-truths out there too! More importantly, she can help you sort out the RELATIONSHIP issues. It's not just about sex, especially for women. Trust in your Mom. That's all a Mom can ask for. Cheers.
A
female
reader, speedcat  +, writes (28 January 2008):
wow im a mom and id be proud to know my son/daughter was informed about the dangers of unprotected sex!I appreciate honesty and a well informed kid is more likely to earn more freedom. so yes I like honesty.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): As a kid meself, let me tell the truth.
parents love honesty. They hate sneaking around. Honesty is a mark of maturity.
This doesn't mean you should sit down and tell them everything you know about sex from a to z...because that may scare them. But do not sneak around behind their backs. At least if you end up arguing, it won't be because you lied!!!
In my case, my mom knows almost EVERYTHING, from my first kiss to my first date to my first time... she was like my best friend. Sometimes she had to hide (she had a scarf she would hide behind if she couldn't really face hearing her daughter talking about certain things), and she always had feedback (sometimes it wasn't what I wanted to hear!). We had a LOT of fights. But I don't think I would've tried to sneak around... the relationship we have now is a good one, and I'm glad that it's based on solid information and fights.
My mom usually told my dad, but I rarely could face doing that. You can usually tell which parent is the kind that wants to hear, and which one wants to hear (but doesn't). In my case, my dad was glad to be "in the loop" via my mom, but we were both glad we didn't have to have the conversations with each other!!
Just make sure your parents know that you're telling them because you want to be open, and you want your parents to know what is going on in your life. Make it clear that you want a good relationship, but don't bring up the whole alternative sneaking about bit (it may seem like a threat, lol).
...............................
|
