A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've been going out for awhile, but he's not used to me sharing emotional issues. Or knowing how to comfort them.I appear happy and normal to him. Inside, my depression is very severe. When we dont see each other, it's even worse.I feel like I need to warn him how many issues I have. I also feel like he is the only one who can cheer me. It's not fair to ask, but I dont know what to do. I feel trapped and scared.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2011): Hi. If your boyfriend is not used to you sharing emotional issues or very good at offering comfort. You might be setting yourself up for a fall.
Why not go along and have a chat with your doctor instead. Or even explain to your boyfriend that you feel down and want to go to the doctor and ask him to go along with you for support. That way you have told him about it AND he will feel he is doing something practical to help you. Help being the operative word here. You will need some proper help to get over this because it's unrealistic to rely on your boyfriend to make you feel better. So go to it and don't be shy. Loads of people get depression but if it has gone on for a long while then you need a doc. So.... if you REALLY want to feel better, what are you waiting for! All the best X
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 July 2011):
 Yes share it with him but be prepared that he won't know how to make you feel better and he will feel helpless. You have to tell him that just by listening you will feel better. What will help is if you tell him what will make you feel better, what makes you happy. Some examples are hugs, music, taking walks together, and a gentle reminder that it is a phase and it will pass. Be careful though try to limit conversations under 30 minutes. Anything longer than that would trigger a fight or flight syndrome in him. Just share that this is what you are going through as of right now, but you hope all will be better. Always end your conversations with a positive note, no matter how hopeless you feel.
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