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Not sure if the girl I'm interested has a boyfriend already. How can I find out?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 December 2007)
A male , anonymous writes:

I want to ask this girl out. The only problem is that she has a child and while I'm not saying I wouldn't go near a girl who has a child, I don't know whether she already has a boyfriend or is a single mother. Being shy, I can't bring myself to ask her this.

I think we get on reasonably well but I would just love to ask her out but with all these conflicting emotions running in my head. It makes me feel really uneasy. The last thing I want is a jealous boyfriend who'll track me down and beat me up. Thanks for reading.

View related questions: has a boyfriend, jealous, shy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007):

Yeah...that first answer is a good one. I just used that technique on a girl I fancied and I found out that she already has a fella. Just start a conversation with her about something semi-personal and sooner or later she'll mention a boyfriend if she has one. Talk about work or hobbies or something...with the girl in my case, I was talking to her about her views on overpopulation and sustainability after we finished our final exams(we're both college students) and she mentioned that her boyfriend jokes about her "eating babies" because she is such a misanthrope. Finding out that the girl you like is already taken sucks, but I prefer the feeling of melancholy from knowing that it cannot be than the burning regret you will feel if you don't at least try.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2007):

Well, another question is: do you also lover her child too? And if so, how old is the child. If the child is old engouth to talk and remember then ask the child (sounds weird but given that if their is another in her life, chances are, the child will know it other then you) If not, then give hints like: So who's going to be with the child over the weekend and stuff. Other then that just ask her nicely. Good luck

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A female reader, LaurenSiddall +, writes (31 March 2006):

maybe you have a friend who is friends with her as well. maybe you could get them to slip it into a convo with her. if not maybe you could assume she's got one. then if she says now cheekily reply.' really, a pretty girl like you?'

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A female reader, Hopeful +, writes (30 March 2006):

Hopeful agony auntThe best way is just to ask questions that lead into each other - ie. my friend fancied a bloke she worked with and she wanted to know his status so she asked him things like "the traffic was bad on the way here today, how did you find it" then after he answered and then she asked "how long does it take you to get to work?" "what suburb do you live in?" "That's a nice suburb, have you lived their long?" "Do you rent with a friend?" and then of course he answered "I live with my girlfriend" so she had her answer. She wasn't happy about it but at least she found out without looking like she was trying to find out.

I would do the same, ask some leading questions "what did you do on the weekend?" etc and see how she answers - if she says "I went out for dinner" ask her "where abouts?" etc to try and get some info.

A girl with a boyfriend is going to slip in "with my boyfriend" sooner or later in conversation.

Alternatively you can be more direct - a fave of mine is after they say something funny or do soemthing nice "your girlfriend is very lucky to have you" and then see what they say.

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