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Do I or don't I let go?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2011)
A female South Africa age 41-50, *akes writes:

I am a 32 year old lesbian my ex girlfriend 21 we dated for 4 years then she left me for a guy I still love her dearly. She has come back to me twice just after the breakup and then goes back to him its almost a year now bt I can't move on and she also still tells me she is still inlove with me. I stay without any contact and then after weeks we speak and end up making love bt she doesn't wana leave him he is twenty I gave her everything bt she says that iam to controlling I knw I made mistakes in the past bt how can I show her that I have changed when she doesn't wana leave him and I knw that they are having sex. What must I do

View related questions: ex girlfriend, lesbian, move on, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011):

I know this will be hard, but you must cut all contact with her. I speak from experience, and recently I had to do the same thing with an ex and I cannot tell you how hard it was. But if I hadn't done so, I wouldn't have been able to move on. I am doing so much better now without her in my life. People who manipulate your emotions are just not worth your time and most importantly your emotions to begin with. Start loving yourself by doing what is right for you in order to be happy. You will find someone worth your time and love eventually. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011):

I would say that sometimes it is better to let go. This yo-yo relationship is not healthy for you or her. It sounds like she uses you when she's having trouble with her other relationship, and that's not fair.

Maybe if you were controling and have changed, then you can use that positively with a new woman who will respect you and love you. This other girl sounds like a "married cheater." She wants what she wants but she doesn't want to break up with her SO.

I say move on. It's hard to let go but you can find someone who loves you for you and wants to be with just you, not you and someone else.

Good luck!

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