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age
51-59,
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writes: Today i was talking to a girl that i like via email. We were exchanging notes for close to four hours. We got into a conversation about a friend of hers who loves to talk about her ex husband on facebook. we both think its funny. but then she said something that hit a nerve. She said "i should do that too to some of my ex's." Im almost positive that she was kidding, but i think its a bit rude to mention ex's to a guy that you know has an interest. So i replied by kinda giving a speech that talking about an ex on a website will make the guy think that youre "still on his strap" and will talk bad about you. After i said that she hasnt said anything to me. I think i just turned her off by gettin serious when she was just being comical. Or maybe she was intimidated thinking i was implying shes a guy chaser. Should i apologize and let her know i went out of line or leave it alone? One part of me tells me to leave it alone because apologizing will make me look needy another part says to let her know she was joking and you realize you got all serious on her. What should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionVen, Sexless, and Indie. Thanks. All 3 of your answers are commendable but Indie and Vens answer is pretty much what i was gearing at all along as you can tell by my question. Being needy is a big turn off to most women which i think is stupid because if all men were non-needy we would be back in the caveman days beating them with clubs and dragging them by the hair. ALL men are needy and if they act needy its because they know women like that so basically theyre being played with. thats my advice to the two ladies. go for the needy guy. the non-needy guy will just dump you once you give in to his game.
A
female
reader, Indie23  +, writes (19 October 2010):
 I don't think what she said was 'bringing up' her exes, it sounded like she was just making a joke.
You really shouldn't have flown off the handle like that, she probably thought you two were just having a nice conversation and then you got all serious on her.
Wait a little while, this way you won't seem needy, then send her a short email apologising for ranting like that. Tell her you took what she said too seriously and that you're sorry if you insulted her.
I hope everything works out and you two can get back on track.
Indie.
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A
male
reader, Ven  +, writes (19 October 2010):
Leave it alone. Nothing will tell her that you meant something by your speech than going back after to apologize for it.
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