A
female
age
30-35,
*113yx8
writes:ok so Im not sure this is the type of question that normally goes on here but hopefully I can get help. I'm a 16 year old girl and I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I love him alot and care about him. A couple days ago my dad told me he got an offer to transfer his job location for a lot more money and asked what I thought but I told him I dont have an answer. If he takes the offer we'd be moving to a different state far from where I live. I wouldn't mind this so much because I don't have much good friends over where I live anyways and the only thing holding me back is that I don't want to leave my boyfriend but at the same time I know I'm still in highschool and it is unlikely we'll stick together anyways. The reason I'm so confused on what to say is that my dad and I are very close and he really values my opinion and in my head I know if I tell him we should do it that prolbilly will put a big impact on his decision and we probially will. So bascially my question is should I not be with my boyfriend because of a move that doesn't even have to happen or just stay where I'm at because of him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2010): It sounds like your dad really wants this job, and it's a good opportunity for him to advance his career. Your dad cares very much about you if he's willing to hear your input about the move, but you shouldn't be selfish if this is something your dad really wants and will help him in the future.
Now, you do still have options on staying in the same state as your boyfriend. Since you are at least 16, your dad can legally emancipate you. Court hearings and paperwork are necessary for this, and then you'd be responsible for providing for yourself financially. You'd have to balance a job with high school, pay your own bills, etc. Of course, your dad could still provide a little extra money for you if he wanted, but in whole you'd have to prove you make enough money on your own to support and provide for yourself.
You stated in your post that you're not sure that your high school relationship would survive anyway even if you stayed. This is another factor to consider. I don't know any couples who dated in high school who are still together (I've been out for five years). Long-distance relationships are also tricky. But if you're not even 100 percent sure that you and your boyfriend will last, you can always try out the long-distance thing. It CAN work if both people are invested in making it so. Then, you and your boyfriend could choose a college or jobs close to each other after high school, if you wanted.
This is a very big decision to make. It's one in which you should consider all your options and everyone's feelings before making the call. Best of luck to you!
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