A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Iv been with my girlfriend for 2 years nearly, her mums an alcoholic and its interfeared with our relationship a lot, but iv stood by my girlfriend to help her. But when we first got together my gf was also alcoholic at 16, but I helped sort her out, but for the last couple of months she slipped back and last week she got hammerd and got aggressive towards me and nearly got arrested (even longer story). But iv put up with so much, i applied after that happend to student accomodation and have been offered a place which is great. But i patched things up with my girlfriend and im now feeling guilty about leaving her with her mum and cos i love her. Do i give up this chance to stay with her cos we dont live too far out of where the student accomodation is and travel to uni and hope to make friends and trust she wont hurt me again which she has a few times. Or do i move out stay with her, feel guilty for going but have the freedom of being away and hopefully have mates?
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (3 September 2007):
 Her drinking is not your fault and it's not your responsibility. You can't believe an alcoholic's promises that they won't drink. She has to fix this herself; you can't fix it for her. You should try to find some al-anon meetings (they're like AA meetings for the family and friends of alcoholics). They helped me a lot.Take care of yourself, and don't feel guilty about it. If she's able to get herself into a healthy place, then take her back. But don't let her drag you down.I know this sounds really harsh, and I'm sorry. It's hard not to get in and solve the problems for someone you really care about. But if you fix this for her, then she has no incentive to change for the better. You'll be doing her more harm than good.Good luck.
A
female
reader, beautifultrustnlover +, writes (3 September 2007):
 i say follow your heart but use your head in the sence that you do want you need to in your life do you see anything for you both other than bf/gf with her???if not i say end it and do what you need to but if you do want children can you see her as the mother of your children if taken that far? look inside your self thats where the answer is and will lead you to what will make you happygood luck
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