A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I am 15 years old and I live in a girls group home. I've been in some trouble before. Mostly just running away from home and things. I have an abandonedment issue. My mom left me around the time I was 10 and didn't give a warning at all. Before she left she was on drugs a lot. I have a little sister just a few years younger than me and I basically had to raise her from birth. My biological dad never really cared at all. I barely even know who he is. I was adopted in Feb. 2007 and my sister and I were seperated. I hardly can talk to her anymore. I lost my virginity at 14 to a troublemaker. I knew all along that he was just the "player" type and I shouldn't have expected him to stay by me. But once he told me he loved me I was caught. I stayed with him for about a week or two and we planned from there to get pregnant. He was only a couple years older than me. After about 2 weeks I got arrested for "running away from home", but we still stayed together. He told me that he couldn't promise me anything because promises are meant to be broken. So he gave me his word that he would never leave me. We stayed by that for a while and then he got pissed at me so in order to get revenge i slept with his best friend the day he broke up with me. Then he threatened to hit me. And yelled in my face and got very abusive. After all that was settled, 2 months later I was placed in a group home. Then around Feb. 2008 I started seeing him on the bus. He apoligized and told me how much he missed me and wanted to be with me. He told me how he had quit everything because if he continued with drugs and alcohol that we could never be together again. So he quit all that to be with me. Then he asked me back out and of course I said yes. I was in hog heaven. Exactly 2 months and 3 days later he wrote me a letter saying we just needed to be friends for a while cause he was afraid he would cheat on me while I was in the group home. And I will be there till I turn 18. which is a little over 2 years from now. However, he says that this is not the end but I'm afraid that it will be. I'm afraid to let him go because I keep thinking he won't come back. Just like my mom and dad did. That is where the abandonment comes in at. So, do I keep waiting and risk getting hurt? Or let him go and risk being alone forever?? HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!??????
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best friend, broke up, drugs, lost my virginity, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lizzy0651 +, writes (12 July 2008):
You are so young and have been through so much, I wish I could show you what your future could have in store for you if you make the right decisions. First of all, you will never be alone forever. Forever is a very long time and you are still in your teens. Please give life a chance to show you that time will change everything for you. This boy isn't ready to settle down and neither are you. He has gone back on too many promises, please don't settle for crumbs when you can have the whole pie. One day you will meet a man who will truly love you and his promises will be sincere. Don't chase a boy, girls always land up getting hurt when they do that. There is something in the college Psychology textbooks that talk about the "distancer and the pursuer". You need to be distant (for the right man of course) a little bit to get a man to want to pursue you. Being too easy is never a turn on to a boy or a man. Play hard to get and never let them get you (until you are a little older that is). Finish school, write to your sister, start to change your life for the better by spending time being good to yourself. Expect respect and you will get it. I know you are not use to people staying in your life but that is a temporary thing, you deserve and will get people who want to be part of your life when you start expecting it. Good luck to you.
A
female
reader, gothish  +, writes (15 April 2008):
i think you need to take the risk, this guy seems to like you, so he may be worth waiting for. i don't know many guys that would just give up drugs and alcohol for a girl, that's a powerful thing o do. but don'tlet him abuse you again, people do deserve second chances, but you need to look after yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Honey if he doesn't wait for you then he's not worth it. The saying is you have to let things go and they come back you know they are there to stay. As for the loss of your parents I am truely sorry they did that to you. It isn't fair to you and I'm so sorry. I know your afraid to lose him but everyone that loves their partner is afraid of losing them . I have a boyfriend I love sooooo much and I'm afraid of losing him but you just gotta know if he doesn't come back that he probably wasn't worth it. If you do decide to let him go they're are plenty fish in the sea. I promise. If he really does love you he will be there for you . And another thing is never let him abuse you again. He did b4 ( which wasn't right ) and said sorry and it's good that you gave him a second chance but if he does it again it's better to leave him. That's all the advice I have for you . I hope it helped you in some way .
feel free to message me anytime. I'm always here to help:)
*~VG~*
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): Key word: forever.
you wont be alone forever hun. it seems like you need to do some serious growing up. wanting to have a child? are you nuts girl? you cant even support yourself!
dont worry about this guy, he sounds like a creep and you can do better. you dont "have" to be with someone. your young, and you will only get wiser.
good luck.
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