A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im in a bit of a stretch, i started going out with my girlfriend over a year ago, the problem is that i first started going out with her because i wanted to have a girlfriend before my birthday, as i am rarely single. one of our now common friends i feel flirts with me although i am no expert about flirting. i can feel her staring at me and when i look to see if she really is turning around to look and see me there she is staring right back then she quickly turns around and thats it, the cycle starts again, this girl i feel attracted to even when i think i love my girlfriend, or may be i just got used to her. i dont know if i truly love her, ive said it back and i think i love her, but then why do i feel attracted to my friend. my question is should i tell my girlfriend i need a break to really know whats going on with me, do i break up with her, ive done it twice but then i dont last 6 hrs before i call her back and tell her i was a dum***, i need help desperately please help me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are both completely right. On one side I hate being by myself and on another I completely love being by myself on occasions. I reallt am a "loneranger", but the strange thing is . . . I like being alone. But sometimes things get too quiet and thats when I start looking again. I have a bad habit of coming in and out of relationships.Thank you both very much for guiding my way. I appreciate your advise.
A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 You are indeed quite normal.
Don't worry about this. You are however making a mistake with this girlfriend of yours if you are not certain that you love her.
Yes, sometimes we GROW to love people - which was the case with my first bf (we were together for 3 and a half years). It then became a case of me being totally Dependant on him, because i wasn't sure of myself.
Also - this other girl. She isn't good for you. She knows you have a girlfriend, but still she can't stop flirting with you. This is a recipe for disaster. You need to take a step back. Break things off with your girlfriend before you really hurt her (although she will be hurt in any case), and find yourself. You need to be able to be happy on your own, before you start a new relationship.
This other girl might REALLY be into you, but i promise you, when you've been with her for a year, you'll be having the same doubts, unless you sort yourself out RIGHT NOW. Why don't you like being alone?
You are in a tough predicament, because either way someone will get hurt. I hope everything works out for you.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, JoJoe  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Hiya,
If you finish your girlfriend again be carefull she mighten take you back ever again as you have done it twice already.
From what you have written about only getting with her because you wanted a girlfriend before your birthday thats shows ther was no real chemicals or true attraction do you see what i mean.
i think seens you'v broken up with her twice already you should finsih it for good because both of you will only end up hurt,
and about the flirting thing, it means nothing its just as you said yourself FLIRTING lol do not get with this person if she is a friend because shes your friend and nothing more for a reason, and if that doesnt work out you will loose her friendship trust me. :D XX X X
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