A
male
age
36-40,
*outhpaw542
writes:Do I attract women who are on the rebound because I am seen as the nice guy and they don't think they'll get hurt with me? Would this explain why I only have short-term relationships? I invest a lot in such a short time and it really hurts when after only a couple of months we are done. I'm really shy and I don't actively seek out women because I'm afraid of rejection. When the woman comes to me, I feel so empowered bacause it shows that it was my personality that attracted them. (I should point out that I have known all my girlfriends before dating them, I've never approached a stranger and had it work out).Any advice about dealing with my recent break up, developing long-term relationships, or attracting women more actively? I'm really miserable right now because I loved my last girlfriend (still do). After her I truely understand what love is and now I'm lost.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): You're pretty young to be giving up, it's possible you just haven't found the right match. I agree with "birdynumnums" that by creating new interests, you will get to meet others who are of the same heart and mind. It's wonderful to see sincerity in someone as young as you and your desire to enter into a serious loving relationship is admirable. I hope you won't give up on love just because of failed, short term relationships in the past. Look inside yourself and find the best in you. I'm sure it won't be that hard to find!
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (21 November 2008):
 I'm sorry that you are broken-hearted over your last girlfriend. I think that you must be a really nice guy if you know your girlfriends for a long time before dating them that speaks really well for you and your personality, and I don't see that as a draw back. It just shows that the more people get to know you, the more they like you. If you are shy, then hitting on women in a bar isn't going to be your thing. I think that you should throw yourself into a few new activities that you have always wanted to try and are passionate about. You will be around like minded people that way, and when you are active and involved, that's when people are attracted to you because your personality has a chance to come out and shine. So, go back to your childhood and try to remember a few things that you loved back then and try to pursue a new hobby. Take a writing class, learn Karate, take up skiing! Whatever it is, there will be lots of new ways to meet new people without even trying! And don't worry too much about any perceived patterns in your past, you have had plenty of experience and the relationships just ran their course. I believe things do work out for the best, and if they didn't work, they weren't meant to be... WHICH MEANS, Your other half is still out there waiting to meet you. Best of Luck, Hun.
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