A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am so insecure when it comes to my boyfriend. I want to trust him, but I have been hurt in my past. Anyway, I figured out his password to his cell phone, and I check it often. Once I heard a girl leave her name and told him to call her back. I couldn't help it, so I confronted him. Of course he denied it, and became angry at me. He changed the password and I figured this one out as well. I checked it today and another woman's voice was on the voicemail. She told him that she wasn't ignoring his calls, her phone was messed up. That really pissed me off. I want to say something, but I don't want him to know that I know his new password. What do I do with this information. Do I assume that he is cheating on me or what? I hate being so insecure.
View related questions:
insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Foxxy1 +, writes (6 March 2011):
Please do show me how you broke into his personal account of phone. I want to know. Will you send me a message so we can chat?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): He has the right to talk to people who happen to be female. You do not have the right to unlock the security code on his phone. Should you assume he's cheating on you? WHY on earth would you do that? It doesn't sound like he's done anything suspicious. Let him know about your insecurity/trust issues and maybe you can go to counseling together?
...............................
A
female
reader, SillyB +, writes (5 March 2011):
 Could these msgs/calls be from women at work, classmates, family friends, people from his hobby groups. There is nothing here indicating that he is cheating on you. Only that he has received a call from a woman had a broken phone and couldn't take his calls. I'd just keep tabs until something truly remarkable pops up, otherwise this doesn't sound like cheating at all.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Can you have an honest discussion with him?
Unless he is a very bad guy it's unlikely he is going to lie to you. I feel that if you are upfront and say that you don't have the degree of security you need in a relationship, he will either try and reassure you and you will be able to see in his eyes where he stands - or if he is a player he'll leave because he sees be can't play you.
It is important that you can have a trustworthy man.
...............................
A
male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (4 March 2011):
Try to know who the girls are with out his knowledge and keep an eye on what he is doing
Did he cheat on you before?
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Your invading his privacy and he forgave you once and you found a way to get his secret code again, what you are doing is risking to much and he might get upset and dump you. When your snooping around is because your hoping to find evidence of any wrong doing therefor justify your insecurities. If your searching and searching you will find what your looking for and now that you know that he talks to other girls you are assuming that he is cheating. Is he not allow to have female friends?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): i would assume he is cheating why the secrecy? there has to be trust and if he locks his phone keeping you from seeing into it then more than likely he is cheating..he should have a password to keep other people out but as his partner he should give you the password to it and his email none of that should be a problem. he is definitely hiding something but eventually it will catch up with him. do not live in denial for the rest of your life when you find out the truth it might be too late
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (4 March 2011):
 Without trust your relationship is doomed.Follow your gut feeling - I dont think any man is worth this type of anxiety - let him go - move forward - there is always another bus.
...............................
A
female
reader, donnakolukisa +, writes (4 March 2011):
 dont let him know your on to him, get as much proof as you can hun
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): Hmm this is a tricky situation. The question is, could you continue this relationship with doubts and unhappyness? Is he worth the anxiety? Or could you find another relationship who's trustworthy and keeps you happy?
...............................
|
