A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Are there any men in there late 40s or 50s who physically desire women the same age or do they all prefer younger women? I find I am approached a fair bit by younger guys but ones my age seem to be interested in 20-30 yr olds. The most recent relationship I had with a man of 50 ended with him letting me know very clearly that he was much more attracted to younger women (like half my age) to the point I ended up feeling like crap and that I was a fill in till someone in that age bracket came along On an intellectual level I've always thought I'd like someone of a similar age but it seems that men my age don't find women this age attractive and will choose a younger women every time if the chance is there. Don't want to be a second choice but realise I need to be realistic. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 January 2017):
 I can't speak for all men but at 56 (nearly 57) my 43 yr old husband would disagree with the assumption that all men want younger women.
That being said, most of the older men with trophy wives or girlfriends have the funds to support the choice. Very very rare that you see a guy who is older with a younger long term partner unless he is very very fit and like minded or very very rich and generous.
the response to most older men lusting after girls young enough to be their daughters is "how does it feel to want?"
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): Seems like most of the answers support that this is what men will take MOST of the time if they can get it but it also seems like most of the answers support that most men are control freaks who just want an ego boost too so I guess if doesn't matter a whole lot at the end of the day , who needs them
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): Well, my boyfriend is 15 years older than I am. So....
I honestly think it is an ego thing more than anything but when it comes to long term compatibility if that is what the man is seeking, he usually sticks to closer to his own age. But if he is looking for an ego boost or some fun, he will try to go younger.
But let's remember. Most older guys are really shooting for the starts thinking a young chick is going to be interested in them. Most of the time they aren't looking for another father. But it's a nice little male fantasy, isn't it?
Besides, younger men their own age can perform much better sexually than the old guys. So, why would a woman want a guy with sagging balls and a sagging libido? Unless he is Donald Trump? Then that trumps it all!
To the older guys, keep on fantasizing. It's good for you. But unrealistic expectations aren't.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): The mismatch causing men more pain is arguable . It would seem that not being able to find a partner for the years when you are young and can go out with mates instead is hardly as damaging to ones confidence as when one is older And facing a future of possibility 50 years alone ! Simply because her skin isn't as smooth as a 23 yr olds! Now ! That's talking about affecting someone's confidence . Wow some men really do think they have it tough just having to wait a few years for the select few women who prefer more mature men whilst having no idea of the realities of discrimination women face dailyIt seems some guys have a very skewed idea of what it truly is to be resilient.If 10 - 15 year when you are in your prime health and have friends and society sees you at the peak of youth and life shakes you up simply because you can't get women's interest YET! Can you even imagine what it's like to be 30 and told that you will NEVER get the interest of men for the rest of your life because you are simply too old ? Can you even begin to comprehend the effect on your confidence of 50-70 years and the word never . Can you even imagine that . Seems your argument holds no weight when you look at it that way huh
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (3 January 2017):
Im 48. My wife is 8 years my junior, so I guess Im guilty.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): I don't think all men do. I have two friends, one 60 and the other 67 who are on dating sites for seniors (over 50). There seems to be plenty of men for them to go out with. One of them is juggling four men and loving it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2017): The length of time we suffer became a mismatch when humans started living beyond 35 or 40 years old. Back in the era when all our feelings about attraction were being formed by evolution, we rarely ever did.
The time when men deal with the short end of this stick is not as long as women's (anymore). But it does occupy a far more critical time in our lives. Any kind of difficulty or rejection can have an incalculable effect on a person at that stage. (See: all psychological research on humans, ever) Men do carry emotional scars from that time for the rest of our days and it influences the path of our future. That little thing called 'confidence' makes a difference.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): It's seems silly for guys to complain about dealing with girls not wanting younger guys when they are only in the younger category for such a short time ( say till about 30 Max ) Yet women are often caste aside or considered too old for Much much longer . A group of male friends were lamenting that women over 30 are 'too old ' and there are several studies showing that men regardless of THEIR age prefer women aged around 23 .
Seems like a big double standard going on that hugely disadvantages woman
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): Men deal with the age preference issue too. But we deal with it at the other end of the spectrum.
When I was young-looking student I was complaining "Do all girls want older guys?" I did not exactly get a lot of sympathy from girls/women. They made excuses about being attracted to "maturity" while they were messing with older guys who acted way less mature than me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): Also interesting to note that many of the men use the excuse that a woman is only fertile till a certain age and say that why they want a younger women yet studies show that the quality of a mans speak dramatically decreases as he ages and he is more likely to produce offspring with biological problems yet men ignore this
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 January 2017):
 I don't think ALL men really WANT a younger partner (especially if they have dated a few half their own age). But I do think men more than women seek younger partners when they themselves are in their 40's- and up. Some because they were really TOO busy to do the family thing with wife #1 (starter wife) or they never married or had kids. A guy in his late 40's (and up) who wants kids.... will HAVE to pick a younger mate/partner to have kids. Not many women in their 40's + want to go through pregnancy and childbirth (again) and some are unable.
And of course, there is the issue of BEING in control. IF you are the older partner, you (general you) have probably had a LOT more life experience, work experience etc. And thus becomes the one with the "know-how" and the money.
What MANY of them soon realize is that they aren't too keen on the generational gap they will experience.
And really? How many old fat not wealthy men do you see with a younger woman?
The guy you dated who told you he preferred younger women is a total ASS. He probably can't HANDLE a mature woman and thinks younger ones are "easier" to control. That's not a MAN. So in that instance? You didn't miss anything great with that guy. If he REALLY preferred younger women, he would have dated younger women. So again, my guess is he didn't date you as a "hold-over". He just decided to end the relationship being a super prick and hurt your feelings on the way out. THAT is not on you, that is HIM and HIS behavior. Want to be not many younger women would want to date him?
It's kind of funny, my husband and I was having this conversation a little while ago. The oldest niece has been dating a guy 17 year older than her for 7 years (on/off) and it's such a toxic and unhealthy relationship. NOT really on HIS end, but because she seems to think that because he works he should pay for everything, including everything for her two kids (that are not his). He "should" buy her a car, a phone (and of course she needs the newest iPhone) etc. And she does nothing in return. They live together and he works 50+ hours comes home to a dirty house, hungry kids, whiny GF. Now it may not BE because she is younger, but he basically has 4 "kids" at home to take care of.
I do think there are men who rather date a peer, someone their own age. Especially if she is independent, fun and share the same hobbies, values, standards etc.
I think it's LESS about age and more about compatibility. The men who want to date young women haven't realized that THEY aren't 20 anymore themselves......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): What you prefer and what you are able to get doesn't always match. Older men often do feel attracted to younger women; and that's natural, social-conditioning, and ego at play. Younger women don't always go for bulgy balding wrinkly older men. Even though the old leches are usually aggressive, overly-flirtatious, and embarrass themselves. If they don't flash cash, their pursuits often fail.
Fit and financially-successful men do what fit and financially-successful women do; they find a trophy mate. Usually younger.
Those who do find younger women have to wonder how long they'll be able to keep-up with them sexually, at what point will he not be able to get it up, how long his looks will hold-out, how long they'll keep their hair; and whether she wants him or his money. Poor guys are usually a lot more realistic, they know their options might be limited. Women don't usually go for the broke guy. So I guess that's where we are even.
The advantage and appeal of younger people is suppleness, energy, firmness, and fitness. If you are single and your options are open; be honest, who's going to settle for less than what you really want. We chase our fantasies before we give-in to the brutal realities of life. It keeps us going.
Women, by and large, may prefer age-appropriate dating; but often women approaching menopause aren't as sexually active as some men might want them to be. They are more demanding about things, and some old guys are going through a second adolescence, and hoping to score cute young chicks. To your benefit, they come to their senses. They get tired of chasing young girls, exhausting their bank accounts, and getting played. Even worse, getting looks of disgust and being blatantly shot-down.
After a divorce, many mature men have had it with being bossed around and nagged. They decide they'll find less of it with a younger woman. Grim realities set in, and they simply find a different list of issues. Being mistaken for their father, being looked at sideways by strangers, and parents who don't like them. Especially fathers!
You have little to worry about if you take care of yourself, have a fun and outgoing personality, and confidence. You can't be discouraged by frustrations with a few you've met; because the dating game is a process of selection and weeding through undesirables. You may not appeal to some men, and many men will not appeal to you.
You keep enjoying companionship and socializing until the right match comes along. Never let frustration discourage you, because you'll give-up too soon. Nothing good happens immediately on demand, and real treasures are hard to come by.
Enjoy life, do what makes you happy, keep a positive outlook, don't hate aging, and don't make man-hunting your main objective in life. Your mission in life is living it; not finding reasons to be cynical or bitter. Life is way too short, and love takes time to find. It's a process. Those who are patient and have a firm grip on reality are the ones who find success. Those women and gay men busy looking for reasons to define men in negative ways usually remain single. That's why so many of them are cat-lovers.
Under frustration, we can spend a lot of time generalizing about people in bad ways. Nobody's perfect, and you have to contend with human nature. Remain patient and optimistic. Enjoy whomever seems attracted to you, and the feeling is mutual. Don't focus too hard on age, unless there are differences which fall beneath your standards and criteria for a good match.
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