A
female
age
22-25,
RachakaRoni
writes:I thought men were honest and meant what they say. but why do I always find that along the way, that it was all a lie? Did they mean what they said? or just wanted something from me? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): A lot of guys try to do good, but they just don't know themselves.
Nobody wants to lie, sometimes its just pathological, and it's just hard to judge character, I know.
But yes, check out the traits that you're attracted to. Sometimes a honest man and what you're attracted to just aren't the same things. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, baby duck  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 Some men, like some women, have an agenda ... and will lie or do other revolting things to get what they want.
Please do not throw the same blanket over all men. Take a look at your girlfriends ... if you're honest, you know that some of them are bitchy or manipulative or high-maintenance princesses ... and it would not be fair for their exes to judge all women because of their experiences with them.
We attract certain kinds of people. We are attracted to certain kinds of people, as well. Sometimes, we're just victims of truly unscrupulous monsters, but if you see something of a trend in the kind of men you are dating ... take a step back and look at yourself. What traits attract you? What traits turn you off? Where do your heart and brain conflict?
Finally, are you totally up front? Are you honest but kind? Do you lead people to believe things about you that are not completely true because it's what you would like to be true? You don't have to tell me the answers to those questions ... they're meant for you to do a little self-excavating.
Take a break from the guys. Be alone for awhile and get to know yourself. That is the first step in figuring out why you're attracting manipulative men.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 June 2008):
 I think they mean what they say when they say it ... well, most of them. They genuinely believe themselves. It's just that quite a few of them don't have a problem with later feeling and saying something that seems to be quite different : (
but hey, look, you are at most 25, and i don't know how many men you've had serious relationships with, but there can't be that many. you haven't sampled enough of the group yet to be able to generalise! ; )
if it's any comfort, i got to the age of 39 with only meeting one lying man, when i was 17. unfortunately i have just been in a relationship with another one, but that's another story!! my answer: no, i think most of them are fine and trustworthy, but they do think a bit differently to us. but there is a significant minority of men who kind of fall into lying and then get stuck with it - those are the ones you really don't want to hook up with ... i reckon anyone who promises you the earth quite quickly and is full of the most amazing compliments you've ever heard is PROBABLY getting carried away with his own rhetoric and will lost interest after the first flush and start, well, lying.
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