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Didn't want to appear clingy, which backfired

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 17 March 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So me and this girl are getting rather serious. Today she asked the question "If i kissed another guy would you be jealous" I didn't know what to say. So i decided to say "No i wouldn't mind" because I didn't want to appear clingy. But now she is mad at me because she thinks that i don't like her. I'm so confused can you guys help me?

Thanks,

Confused

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 March 2010):

Ah yes. Welcome to the interesting world of women. You've just become the walking cliché. You said something because that's what you thought she wanted to ultimately hear. She didn't, of course. What she wanted was for you to say that you would be totally jealous because you love her to bits. For some reason, a few woman (of all ages, it's not just young ones) like to think that by making a male jealous, they will suddenly show their love. It doesn't work.

In the future, tell her would be hugely jealous.

As for now, the best thing to do is to sit down with her and say that you were worried she thought you were getting clingy.

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A male reader, DannyB United States +, writes (17 March 2010):

DannyB agony auntthe clingy issue is always a big one in high schools. But, like jamie90 said just tell her straight up. either one of two things will happen either she'll be happy that your being honest or she won't and if thats the case just leave you don't need the drama.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 March 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntMost young girls are under the mistaken notion that you need to get jealous to show your love.

If you are not jealous, it means that you do not love them. Jealousy is a love language to them.

Some males may not show any jealousies as they are able to control them. They will feel the tinge in their hearts but are afraid to voice it out for fear of being belittled or ridiculed.

That's the difference between the sexes which many are not aware off.

Be wiser next time.

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A female reader, Auntie E United States +, writes (17 March 2010):

Auntie E agony auntDear Confused - Easy one. Take it back and tell her "yes of course you would care (jealous is too strong of a term here) if she kissed someone else!" Now be careful with this girl as well as she sounds a little immature since she is asking such a silly question in order go guage your interest but some girls can be this way. Good luck.

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A female reader, jaime90 Australia +, writes (17 March 2010):

jaime90 agony auntwould you have been jealous?

don't play games! if you would have you should have said "yes i would be jealous.. i don't want to be with other people and wouldn't want you either"

Just tell her straight up now, i said that because i didn't want to scare you off.. tell her how you really feel

she is probably feeling like it doesn't mean much to you, and that means you feel free to kiss other people.

if you are getting "rather serious" i don't understand how you would be scared to seem clingy..

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A male reader, Heartbroken in love United States +, writes (17 March 2010):

Yea this is a trap that women will lead us guys to. So she isn't really asking if she kissed another guy she is asking if she were to simply go with another guy. The answer is always yes I would mind. And if you want to get extra credit you say "I don't want anyone else kissing my girl". Just for future reference. Girls love it when you claim them. If they don't this usually means they don't want to be with you.

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