A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So confuse, i need to express myself and hear an advice or something, is my first time telling this.two years ago when i was twenty. I met this girl 5 years older than me at my job. We click, i liked her friendship.But she was interested in experiencing with a girl,so she told me and i said i dont do that. We bacame really good friends,she is marry and has 3 kids. i had just move to town and she was my only friend. Every now and then she will come up with the same thing.As soonest i show her to my family,they didn't like her. My grandma told me she could tell she like girls and that the only reason she wanted to be my friend was to be with me. I got mad, i didn't want to believe it.(turn out to be true)After a year, the next day of my birthday we went out to a club with her family, i was turning 21 so i drank. we went back to her house. her husban went away for a year. We were laying down in bed talking and a second to the next she was on top of me and we started kissing.Before this i only had one experience with a guy. after that night i felt so guilty and bad, i couldn't do nothing but to cry and cry,and feel horrible. She kept looking for more. I said no, that it wasn't right, and i didn't want that in my life.I should have stop being her friend then.Something inside of wanted to keep being her friend,i liked her company. 6 months after that first time, i got really jelous of how good she was treating this other girl. She notice it,the next day my grandma was leaving out of town. So i stayed in her house and it really happen, and i enjoy it. I still felt bad, but then it started happening more and more often for a whole year,while her husband wasn't there, it was as though we were in a relationship. People started saying that we had something, but we denied it. I had a lot of problems with my family because of her, so much that they sent me out of town.Now i feel used because her husband came back, and she treats me as an option and i fall in love! and im so mad at myself because i knew this would happen and i told her hundred times that we had to stop because i didn't want to fall for her because she is marry and i don't want to get hurt. I'm still her friend, but it hurts because she still comes with seducing me, then don't, is like if she plays with my feelings.I always say i am going to stop talking to her, but is like an addition. She comes back and accept her. ......i dont know what to do
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