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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi can somebody please give me some advice im dating this lovely guy for 2 yrs well he is lovely to me he has helped me when things have been bad for me in the past.But he dosent really make me feel very secure about us and when ever i want to talk about us he gets very distant and i feel sorry for bringing up the subject. this morning as soon as my kids got up ge jumped out of bed and got dressed and said he had to go cos people would be goin to mass soon and they would see his car outside my house.I was gobsmacked and couldnt find words to say.This really hurt me and made me feel like we were having some cheap affair that he was ashamed of.He never spends time with me during the day when my kids are about the house.I tx him and asked him if he was ashamed of me and who did he think would be bothered where his jeep was he didnt tx me back . he rang me earlier and asked was i still moaning i said no cos id rather talk to him face to face about how im feelin but the problem is im afraid that if i say too much that hel leave and not come back I really love him amd dont want to loose him.Can someone PLEASE HELP ME . xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): The first thing that comes to mind is why after two years are you wondering if this guy wants a future with you? Have you never had a conversation about whether or not either of you wants to be married? Do you even know if he ever wants to be married period, not just to you?
It never ceases to amaze me how many women enter into a committed sexual relationship with a man and have never asked before hand what the guy is looking for? This is what dating is supposed to be about, a selection process for picking someone who is like minded and on the same page....if you have just been going along with him without having the talk, you probably need to try and have it with him now...guys can be allergic to this sort of thing, try to keep it short like 15 minutes or less, and just tell him how you feel about his leaving early in the morning to avoid the neighbors, that you don't think you are a harlot for having him spend the night, but if he does maybe he ought to think about making an honest woman out of you and start talking about a future with you instead of just sneaking out the back door....then I would not hesitate to make myself a whole lot less available, until he is ready to committ, but that is your call I suppose.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): if you talk to him and he leaves you then hes a loser anyway!, if you want to have a meanigful relationship then you will have to tell him how you feel.
wait tillhe comes round for a night of passion and then talk to him about this, tell him how you feel about the whole realtinoship at the moment and how he makes you feel. ask him why he feels he has to hide from the nieghbours?
if he doesnt show intrest then I'm afraid that your gonna to call his bluff, tell him that unless he sits and discusses this with you then your not going to see him or talk to him until he does.
if he doesnt get back to you then you know that he wasnt even worth your time in the first place.
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