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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: i need to make a decision i have been seeing this married man for bout 10 months, he did say he was having a hard time at home at the beginning it felt rite but during the relationship i started feeling guilty, and we kept ending it then been friends then we wud sleep together. he did cheat on me while on holiday but i let it go. we have a gud strong friendship. 4 months ago i wanted to see other guys cause i wernt eva gona get anything frm this married guy so when i asked him for a break he decided to tell his wife that he loved someone else. the pressure on me is so bad. i am seeing someone else the married man doesnt know. wot shall i do i am confused the married man loves me alot can offer me a gud stable future. the single guy is from down south and says he can neva leave his family for me even if we get serious and would want me to move south with him i have kids and dont eva want to move away from my home i am so confused what shall i do. the married man said if i say no he will make a go with his wife even though he doesnt love her. i am scared that i will lose him.
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a break, married man, on holiday Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): Do I need to read the question in full length? No. You are dating married men, not only one but two? Get out and away from them and find yourself a healthy relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): You really need to concentrate on building appropriate relationship w/someone who is ELIGIBLE
A married guy or a single long distance guy do not qualify as eligible men.
You need to start dating and sort them out, trying to understand what you want and who you want. You get involved w/men who will never become part of your life.You need to stop this patern, otherwise you'll end up being alone.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous_NF  +, writes (22 November 2009):
 The answer is simple, but not as simple to to do. You should stop seeing them both. Seeing one married man is bad, your seeing 2. You're going to get hurt so it's for your own best to stop seeing them.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  + ♥, writes (22 November 2009):
Neither of these guys are ever going to commit to you, and you need to know that. You think the married guy can offer you a stable future? Has he offered to leave his wife? No. And he won't either, like 90% of married men, who say they will leave, then don't. And how can he offer you s stable future? He's cheating on his wife, so he would cheat on you. As for the other guy, he has said he won't move, and you won't move. So you aren't suited to each other either.
You musn't fall for the lies that married men can spin. You've been seeig him for ten months, and he's not made one move to prove he will get a divorce to be with you, though you mention he told his wife 4 months ago, and he still hasn't left.
Instead of messing around with these guys, neither of whom really love you enough, spend time building your own confidence up, and find a single guy who will love you. You will only get hurt if you don't.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (22 November 2009):
 Lose him is what you need to do cause he is showing you he is untrustworthy, already he is cheating on his wife, he also cheated on you with another while on holiday?
Nothing about his persona tells me you could trust him.
The other guy is also married? and has family? and has told you he will never leave them?
Sorry but you have kids too and to take your kids into a relationship where there is no stability or security i think is unthinkable.
I would rather you dumped both of them and find someone on your own patch and single!
You have no assurances with any of these two and having children of your own assurances would be my priority.
The married guy needs to do the decent thing and make a go of his marriage and leave you alone, even if he says he does not love his wife then why stay with her all this time?
I would not trust this man he seems unstable and very unreliable to me, you really need to think long term here and this all seems way too complicated where it shouldn't be.
Gina
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