A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well me and my bf have been together for 9 months and he spoke to my dad about 3 weeks ago, before he spoke with him i said when you speak with him we can discuss having sex, i did this just to be sure that he wants to be with me and so thay my dad could talk to him. Now that he did speak with him i think he's expecting us to jump into haveing sex but i don't want to because i'm not sure if he serious, we're both 18 , we say i love you, we see each other alot, we cuddle, he walks home which is like 4 hours away from my house mostly every night just because he wants to see me. Its seems as if he loves me and would do anything he can to see me and would do anything be with me but how do i know if he really serious? because he's acting kinda weird now like i owe him sex or he says disrespectful stuff when we're in front of his friends like " i can get some whenever i want" some and is "sex.Should i have sex with him or should i make him wait?
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female
reader, Miss.Knowitall  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 First you should deff tell him that you find he is disrespecting you by just thinking he can have sex from you. Has he actually asked you are you ready? Also are you both still virgins? Cause if so that is why he might say these things to his friends he is 18 and wants to sound cool. But you have to let him know that is makes you lose faith in his feelings for him. I had the same(ISH) problem with my boyfriend when we started dating a year ago. And I just told him straight up that I knew he was ready and that he wanted to have sex, but I wasn't ready and didn't like what he said to his friends. He stopped and when I was ready 6 months later we had sex. And I agree with the first post. There is NO way that he doesn't care about you and is in it only for sex. If he was he would be long gone by now. .... I think that you do need to wait untill you are ready but still understand his needs.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 February 2011):
 Ok well your post started of great but by the end i lost a little bit of respect for your boyfriend.
Ok so here are the facts. Yes he does care about you, no other boy would walk 4 hours if he didnt, he has stayed with you for nine months, if he was only after sex he would be long gone by this stage. You need to start having a little more faith in him. You sound quite insecure therefore maybe you need to figure out why you feel he is not serious about you.
Ok no you do not owe him anything you should never have sex until you are completely ready to do so. You explained to him that you would discuss it if he spoke to your dad, and now that he has then discuss it but if you are not ready then you tell him that. If he doesnt respect that then it is his problem not yours.
As for him saying that to his friends well to tell you the truth hun this is the way guys tend to talk to each other, they tend to make up things about sex to impress there friends. At this age it is just common in guys to be doing this. But if it is upsetting you then tell him you feel he is disrespecting you. If he wants a mature physical relationship then he needs to start acting mature.
Goodluck Sweetie.
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