A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear everyone,My life is a huge mess. I know I'm being stupid because I'm so young, but I can't get rid of this feeling. When I was 14 I started to really like this guy. I'll call him Jacob. Jacob was a grade older then me, and he started to talk to me because he found I was really pretty and I sounded interesting. He saw me dancing on stage at a school show and asked one of his friends about me. Admittedly, we fell for each other but we couldn't date because he's always so busy over the summer and we wouldn't be able to see each other. He had promised we'd date the next school year, and I had agree'd. (Sounds like a movie.) So we ended up fighting days before we got let off of school and we had completely stopped talking.When the school year had started we started talking again. Oblivious of how stupid that was, I went with it. He was sixteen in October and soon after I would be fifteen.... (both scorpios). We became close again, and started to fall for him again. We ended up having phone sex, he called me beautiful, I told him he was amazing. In the end, he told me he only wanted to be friends and that we could never be together because of our past. I've never been hurt more in my life by one person.Finally in March, I found Drew. Drew was this hilarious piano player that was sooo shy. We started dating in April of last year because Jacob set us up. I found we were perfect, we never fought, we always agree'd and he's the funniest guy on this planet. During our relationship, Jacob had told me that he had liked me back in December (when he told me we had to be friends) and that he'd never lose those feelings. This made me mad, why would he tell me now when all I've wanted was to date him? I liked him again. While I was dating Drew. Whats wrong with me? Soon though, those thoughts went away. I denied them and consintrated on Drew. I had the best time of my life, Drew being a piano player, Jacob a violinist and I a singer we won our schools talent show together. What a threesome. Summer came around, Jacob started to stop talking to us like he did every summer because of work. And now I'm sixteen and so is Drew. Jacob is seventeen. Jacob and I had stopped talking for five months. I told him the truth about one of his 'profile pictures' (he looked ugly and he asked for my opinion) and he got mad. Long story short. I thought it was good we'd stop talking because he brought way to much drama with Drew and I. Drew and my relationship has been good. We've been dating for 10 months and we lost our virginity to each other in November. Except recently we've been fighting a lot. Fighting about trust and about stress. How much I get to see my friends and how both of our futures look together. I'm on student council and I was asked to ask Jacob and dj'ing for us. Naturally after I asked we started talking and of course, we're friends again. Now, with all the stress I have with Drew's bullshit I find myself being excited to talk to Jacob. After all these nights crying about how Jacob hurt me, why do I find myself thinking about him all the time and wanting to be with him and finally maybe getting to kiss him before he graduates? I have a boyfriend, a really nice boyfriend who treats me great. Do I still love Jacob?So basically, after spending half an hour on this,I'm falling out of love with Drew and thinking more and more about Jacob. (Who doesn't even like me and who his obsessed with this other girl.)WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?-A very confused teenager.
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