A
female
age
41-50,
*ora2011
writes:this guy(lets call him bob) have been dating for a about 3 and a half months, and everything was pretty good until a couple weeks ago when he started getting really emotional. we had problems in the begining where he would get to clingy and id get mad and tell him to back off(i cant handle a guy being really clingy) and now it seems like hes getting clingy again and really emotional. he tryed to get a job and messed it up by showing up to the wrong room and completely missed his test and hes been having issues with is dad because his dads really pissed that he didnt get this job(his dad works at this place) i understand that this could amplify his emotionalness. he's really been pissing me off alot lately for stupid things or just pissing me off because he texts back to fast or doesnt understand that when i say 'im busy ill be slow texting' that im busy.i really liked him at first, he seemed close to perfect other than i dont like his body type(ive never told him that though.)its a long distance relationship (3 to 1 and a half hours depending on what time of the month since he's still in college) so we mainly text ALOT and use skype then see each other on weekends. ive finally gotten so annoyed with him i told him we needed a break or something and he kinda freaked. he didnt want to take a break at all but agreed to not text as much and he would back off alot. I have a friend and we've "talked" briefly twice(about a year apart last time being in Janurary) but both times one of us wasnt ready for a relationship but we've been really good friends for a long time now..ive always had the hots for him and he makes it obvious that he does for me but hes never tried to do anything with me(not even kiss me). he told me he would like to give "us" a try again and he knows about what me and 'bob' have been going through. he's really came on to me, telling me he wants to be with me, wanting to see me etc.im torn between both guys. 'bob' has a lot of flaws but treats me like a princess. when i say jump he asks how high but he really gets on my nerves sometimes. right now i dont even want to text him. im just so frustrated with him. im his first girlfriend ever(ive been his first everthing, date, kiss.)the other guy im very attracted to and always have been. he has a bit of a reputation but its from a sluty ex and a mistake he made a long time ago. He does get emotional sometime but its NORMAlLY for the right reasons even though it does bother me sometimes. hes very nice and knows how to treat a girl, but im scared its lust thats attracting me to him.Im thinking i should be just friends until i figure out what and who i want but im not positive on that. both are amazing guys but amazing for different reasons. part of me is scared to lose 'bob'and part of me wants him gone but i dont want to hurt him at all. im so confused. can anybody help me? im sorry this is so long and thanks for all answers in advance
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female
reader, DestinyFaith3 +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Personally, I think you should stay with "Bob." If it is lust that attracts you to this other guy, then you could end up disappointed. Almost every girl has a fantasy for a bad boy at one time in her life, and when that dream doesn't happen in reality, she becomes depressed. You know Bob much better and if he loves you, he can change. Tell him how you feel about his clingy-ness and emotions. One piece of advice: Don't make him feel too bad about expressing his emotions. That is a good sign; it means that he's comfortable around you. If he is a whiner or a constantly depressed person, you should have a talk with him. Good luck!
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