A
female
age
26-29,
*onifolwell
writes:i dont know what to think. i went to my boyfriends truck to get a lighter because he likes to stash all of them in his truck for work. i found a box of condoms that we dont use. i have also found messages in his phone to other females. these questions are not ones to be used when you are with someone. Is he cheating on me?
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female
reader, KeW  +, writes (4 August 2019):
 Sorry, OP; I just realised you may have meant a box (brand) that you don’t use, rather than that you don’t use any!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2019): You should have taken out the box of condoms you found, and the ones you use, and asked him before you asked us! Look at the expiration date on the box; and you can tell how old they are. Men often switch brands, and variate. You don't have to be loyal or consistent with any particular brand.
Is he the kind of guy who cleans his truck from top to bottom? Then it is unlikely he'll keep an expired-box of condoms sitting there collecting dust. If they're fresh? That's suspicious! Heat will cause them to deteriorate, and they'll easily break! That's downright stupid...tell him so!
If you put two and two together, I guess you might conclude he is cheating. Is he heavily flirtatious with women, does he get a lot of secretive-messages or calls? Does he seem uninterested in sex? Without actually confronting him; you'll become overwhelmed with suspicion, and start acting weird or crazy. You won't be able to enjoy sex, and resentment will contaminate your relationship.
Judge him by his character. If he is a dishonest, sneaky, underhanded lowlife? He's likely to be cheating. If he is thoughtful, considerate, mindful of your concerns, easy to talk to, and an all-around good-guy; you'd be able to talk to him, and ask him to his face.
He's probably not the epitome of good-character or trustworthy; but he's your type. Be that the case, he's cheating! What are you going to do about it, if it turns-out that he is?
I totally agree with Honeypie, that being able to communicate with your partner is absolutely important. Something as important as this must be addressed. Then, you'll have to use your best judgement and discernment to decide if he's telling you the truth. If he has a history of being honest and usually trustworthy; he may tell the truth. If you've been hanging-on to him in spite of knowing he's a total dick; it's likely you won't believe him; but you'll keep him anyway. Even if the suspicion and distrust kills you! What say you?
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A
female
reader, KeW +, writes (2 August 2019):
Hello OP,
I’ll start with what you won’t want to hear: please use condoms *and* birth control until you’re trying to get pregnant. Not using two is reckless and irresponsible. We have a lady on here who may have herpes because she didn’t use condoms with her partner and many women who ended up pregnant because they didn’t use condone and birth control together.
Condoms have an expiration date - they may be old. Talking to people isn’t automatically cheating either.
You’re going to have to ask him. If you feel able to have sex with someone, you do have to be able to talk openly about sex and other important issues. You also want to know who you can trust.
Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2019): Certainly sounds like if he hasn’t already he is planning to or in the least hoping the opportunity arises and is ready for it . Why take chances when there are better men out there who won’t make you wonder about their conmitnbet ro you and won’t act sleazy
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 August 2019):
 Did you ASK him?
He can probably give you an idea MUCH better than any of us.
If you know him well, you can hopefully tell (by his reaction) if he is lying or not.
Honestly though? Sounds like he carries condoms for "just in case" and with him also talking to other women - it's possible he is cheating. Though, TALKING doesn't = cheating.
If the messages are of a sexual nature or suggestions to meet up, then I'd say it's fair likely that he IS cheating.
The condoms COULD be old. The women he talks to could be friends or coworkers. So jumping straight to cheating isn't always the answer.
Being able to communicate with your partner (and that might include asking awkward questions) is important.
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