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My boyfriend has problems using a condom! We are still virgins because of this...

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2004) 6 Answers - (Newest, 3 April 2009)
A , anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I are both 17 years old, we have been going out nearly a year now but both are still virgins. It's not that we both don't want to have sex, its that when ever we go to he has trouble keeping it up as soon as he puts on a condom. I think he would be happy having sex without a comdom but I just don't want too. The first time this happened he kept apologising and awkwardly laughing, saying to give him a few hours, but I fell asleep. The second time he got really annoyed with himself. We have tried a couple more times but still it isn't happening. We have both given up on even mentioning sex now, I feel he might be a little embarressed. I don't know what to do. Is this normal? Or do I just simply turn him off? It's so confusing, what should I do?

Please help, thanks,


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A female reader, loner44 United Kingdom +, writes (3 April 2009):

hey, this is cause by the man thinking about will he be stiff enough to fill the condom, or will the condom stay on, to stop this, his partner -you, will have to stimulate the penis to keep it hard, while putting on the condom, if he doesnt like wearing the condom, always avalible is the female condom, the pill, and u can take tablet things that last upto a day,

its more chance if u use the female condom instead of the male condom, the chances are he will keep his hard on, through out the nite until he has came

hope this infromation helps


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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007):

have you thought about going on the pill. if you are not comfortable with that idea then wait untill the right moment. it will happen for you eventually.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2006):

a lot of times a condom doesn't quite fit and can make the guy go limp.. try a bigger condom..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2005):

I really think you're being naive, ok it could be nerves but your attitude is quite pushy. You're in a real rush for him to have sex with you. Lay off the pressure and despte what he says he might not really be ready. There is such a thing as a guy not feeling comfortable or ready to have sex as well you know. He'll manage it when he's ready stop treating it like a problem and then it might happen sooner.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2005):

get him really really close to coming and then quickly put on the condom... if that doesnt work try different condoms

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A reader, Holly, writes (3 January 2005):

Sam~The same thing happened to me when I was 19. My boyfriend wasnt a virgin but I was. The pressure on him was so bad that he went limp every time we tried it. When it finally worked out, he didnt even finish off. My advise would be to wait it out, because you need 100% passion to enjoy this...not nerves! Also, try a really romantic spot thats planned out-spontinaety adds to guys nervousness.

ps: tell him he's really big! Good luck!

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