A
female
age
30-35,
*reath_in
writes:So me and my finance have been together for a while .. and for those of you who remember me... yes we got back together sorry. well things are going great the only thing that worries me is our conversations because now a days they last less then 15 mins a day and we usually talk once a day.He said its normal and its fine but a part of me feels like its not i mean your in love with someone and when you want to spend your entire life with them shouldn't you want to talk to them more ? or am i reading too much into this ?to clarify hes in the army stationed in North Carolina which is better then being in Iraq for us cause we get to talk more but ..truth be told we talked more when he was in Iraq then when hes here. work is not really an excuse only because hes off work by mid afternoon .so anyone who knows what its like to have a military bf ..or husband please tell me if this is normal.and let me know if i'm reading to much into this .any feed back would be great thank you guys .
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female
reader, breath_in +, writes (12 November 2010):
breath_in is verified as being by the original poster of the question The previous issue i had with my finance was the wedding he was here for r&r once before and we were planning a wedding well technically i was and he backed out on it last min.He then asked me to leave away with him to North Carolina instead i got to admit it wasn't his best moment but we talked it out and i understood what he was feeling cause i left it too . we both felt rushed and we couldn't do anything we felt like we lost sight of what really mattered which was me and him being together corny as that may sound .
I've known him for 4 yrs and we've been dating for 1 solid yr and today its officially our 1yr 4month anniversary today
i'm proud to say im very much in love with him and i know how hard it is and im not expecting it to be easy that i know .on that note i talked to him a few mins ago and we worked it out hes been feeling a lot of stress from work and they just told him he might not be getting his leave for holidays so that means he won't be able to see me and hes mad about it cause he wants me to be with him already .
but you guys are right it is hard for him to show affection but when he does he makes up for all the times he doesn't and as far as talking about Iraq he doesn't like talking about it as much ..which i get so i never push the issue .
so sorry to brust your bubble bernard but i'm really happy with him .he may have hurt me in the past and may have had our bump along the road but hes not just any normal guy and i get that hes different and hes been threw alot and i get it i understand it boys do things for a reason soo...we worked on our issues and i'm very content .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hello-
My b/f served two tours in Iraq. He came back with very little ability to give. I don't know if your b/f is in counseling, but PTSD has a HUGE impact on relationships. It is not an easy road. My military man loves attention, but hates affection. He shows affection in other ways, but due to his wartime experiences, trust and affection are not easy actions for him. Try asking your b/f if he has nagging thoughts from his experiences that are keeping him from being able to connect with you. Be patient.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Bernard, could you be kind and post her last question on here? That would help!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hello, army wife here!
Now I don't recall you, but I am curious as to what was the previous problem with your fiance. That may help me to paint a picture. How long have you been an army girlfriend? Well, you do know that not everyone can cut it as an army wife/girlfriend, that's where they get that nasty cheating stereotype. On top of that it's a LDR, of course until you get married and live under the same roof. The Army dictates his every move, one week they tell him he needs to go to Ft. Carson for training and he'll be gone a whole month. Sometimes they'll take away their cells so they can have their undivided attention. Yeah, that means zero contact. His usual work days, depends what exactly he does in the army. My husband is a dog handler..he works till 5 other days he gets off early, sometimes he'll work nights for a week straight or he has duty for 24 hours.. Again whatever the army tells you to do..You're on call 24-7. So his not talking to you very much, is most likely work related..or when your soldier gets off of work he's so drained that he's ready for dinner, shower, and bed. It doesn't really change when you marry into the army either, only difference is you'll be living under one roof..It's not a normal relationship/marriage. You have to learn to be VERY supportive, at times he's not going to be able to give you the attention you want. You'll get more of an understanding with how the Army works when you two get hitched. But for now, yes his communication is normal..when my husband and I were dating sometimes he was way too busy to talk or text. Gotta learn to be patient. Anymore questions feel free to message and ask.
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