A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:There is this coworker at my office. First he was really nice to me. He talked to me, always stared at me and seemed pretty interested. When we had events and trips with the office, he asked me to drive with him in his car. But suddenly he ignores me. He doesnt even say good morning any more. I never did anything wrong or flirted with him. But I like him and his behaviour confuses me. Sometimes when he talks to me, he still smiles and seems kind. But the next day he ignores me. What is wrong with him?
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male
reader, human_male  +, writes (12 May 2013):
 You know when you have feelings for someone it can be hard to be around them. It's just easier to keep them at a distance, to protect yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): Hi,
thank you for your answers!
I know that he was single when I started working there. He told me... But this was 7 months ago. So now, he could be in a new relationship.
But why is he so distant to me? That doesn't make sense. He could just behave normal like he talks to everybody else in the office. Very often he acts like I'm not there. And then, sometimes, he can be super nice again, but the next day, he will totally ignore me.
So, maybe he is just playing odd games?
Because he is a manager I always kept a certain distance. I am always friendly to him and will also keep our friendship at a professional level. Unfortunately, I can't talk to anyone about him at my company... ;-)
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A
male
reader, human_male +, writes (12 May 2013):
Simple, you weren't responding so he's given up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): Could be lots of reasons. How does he treat other people in the office? Is he like this to everyone?
Could it be that he tried to see if you were interested by being extra nice and when he didn't get a reaction he reverted back to his normal behavior?
Just be wary, part of the whole dating process is finding out what a person is really like when they turn of the charm.
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A
male
reader, Crabman +, writes (12 May 2013):
 does he have a girlfriend ?
maybe she might be getting jealous ?
possibly he may have been hitting on you & might feel you only "friend zoned" him so gave up
or he could have eyes for someone else in the office & doesn't want to give them the wrong idea
someone else who knows both of you might have more of an insight
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 May 2013):
Hi there. How well do you know this guy you work with?
Is it possible he is either married or in a relationship already?
Just say he was either of the above, when he was talking and smiling and being nice to you, it is possible that he could have been going through a rough patch in an already existing relationship, and was seeking out a friend.
And also if he is in some kind of relationship, it could account for a change in his behaviour, or cooling off a little, because he might be feeling some guilt.
It is possible.
And it could certainly explain the turning hot and cold all the time.
And so until you can somehow (without it being too obvious), find out from your other work colleagues of his marital status - married, single or attached - it might be a very wise thing for you to just be friendly towards him, without showing any kind of romantic interest, until you know this for sure.
Otherwise, you could get your heart badly broken, and you want to avoid this at all costs.
So for now and until you know for sure, keep your friendship with him at strictly a professional level, and then you can't go wrong.
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