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Cant get over him....he doesn't even know how much I want him

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Question - (21 December 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 December 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

hi, i have a crush on this guy that i have known since i was 8. We were in the same school for 10 years until it finished. Now im working and hes finishing off in college. We would say hi/bye when we saw each other. The thing is that now im 18, and all thoughout this time hes the only guy iv had these feelings for. He doesnt know and probably never will. Hes had many girlfriends and iv even had to see one of my closest friend go out with him. He is a nice guy at heart and i cant seem to get over him. Its so fustrating cuz hes all i think about. Recently iv started gettin to know a guy at work. He asked me out but i cudnt say yes cuz im hung up on this guy who doesnt even know how i feel about him. Im only 18 iz it crush/love are crushes supposed to last that long? what should i do about this prob please help!

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A female reader, Aunt Sar-Sar United States +, writes (27 December 2007):

Hi there,

I am in a similar situation...except that I haven't known the guy I'm crushing on for very long. Still, I know how you

feel. If you haven't told him anything about how you feel,

it's no wonder you can't let him go. I mean, at the current

time, you basically have no idea where you stand with him.

If you were to let go, you would have no clue what you were

walking away from. My advice to you is to just tell him how

you feel. I know it's a hard thing to do (especially if you

have rejection phobia the way I do), but in the end, you'll

feel so much better...and you'll be able to let go and move

on if necessary.

Good luck, and God bless.

~Aunt Sar-Sar

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (22 December 2007):

kenny agony auntI think as you have known him for so long you should be quite comfortable around him, well more comfortable than someone you have only know for a week say. I do know how you feel, im quite confident around woman but when there is someone i really like i just go all mushy and don't know what to say. There is a girl i like at the moment, and like you im not sure how to play it at the moment. I would say that instead of asking him out straight away test the water first. By that i mean maybe make a friend out of him, get to know him more, ask him things about himself. Try some light flirtatious gestures like eye contact, light touches ect. You can get a fair idea if someone likes you by noticing body language and if the flirting is being reciprocated or not. Keep this up for a while and see how it goes. I always think its best to take this approach because ultimately you can find out if someone likes you without the enbarrasement of actually asking them. And remember that if you do make a friend out of him that some of the best relationships stem from being friends at first.

If you need any more advice please feel free to mail me anytime, and you can let me know how you are getting on.

Good luck & merry Christmas x

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A female reader, peaches83 United Kingdom +, writes (22 December 2007):

peaches83 agony auntBecause you have known him so long you should know him well and be able to talk to him quiet easy. Tell him exactly how you feel.

That way you are putting it all on the line and once and for all will know where you stand. You may find that he is in the same situation.

Peaches

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