A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I thought i was over her.My ex and I broke up about 5 months ago now (dated almost 3 yrs). At first all i could think was getting her back but i knew i had to give it time Get my life in order and give each other some space. WE never ended on bad terms, she found someone else and about 3 months ago,we just decided to give each other space for a bit, ever since that conversation we haven't spoke to each other at all except to wisheach other happy birthday. But even since i went to this wedding this weekend of a couple that resembled us so much, I can not get her out of my head.What should i do is this something that will pass or should i try to talk to her?? I would be happy just being friends again, but it would be so much better now.I am at a place in my life that i could offer her everything that i wasn't able to before and lead to us breaking up.Need Advice! thanks...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): okay hunny, you might be able to offer her everything you couldnt before but she is in a relationship with some one else now. she has clearly moved on. do you even konw how she feels about this new guy? she might really care for him as he might her. if you barge into her new relationship you will probablly either make her made, confuse her, or upset her... not to metion her new man. look, break ups are hard, exspecailly when you are in a realtionship with someone for that long. i know. i dated a guy for three years, we just recently had a mutual break up, a few months later i started dating somebody new, really like the new guy, then my ex showed up at my house one night (about two weeks ago) out of the blue telling me he still loved me. naturally i told him to leave i have a new boyfriend, but ever since that night i cant stop thinkin about him!!! its driving me crazy. we broke up for good reasons and i really care about and like my new guy a lot. all he did was confuse me and make me hurt knowing that its best that we arnt together...
i know its hard to start oveer but youve got to get out of your comfort zone and move on...
she has.. trust me you need to leave her be while she is with this guy. if it doenst work between them, then maybe you should try talking to her, but if youve were in a relationship that long you cant just up and be friends over night, these things take time..
good luck:)
A
female
reader, growing  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You want her back and deep down you still have feelings for her but if she is dating someone then are you planning to wait for her next break up?
she has moved on in her life and its better for you to do the same.
You come across as a sensible guy as you chose to give time inspite of calling her again and again,what normally happens after break up.so even this time make smart choice.
There is no harm in being friends,but why you want to be her friend bcos a couple reminded you of her which implies you want her in that way and being friends is just an excuse that you are giving to yourself .
You know that you are happier now so why asking for unwanted problems instead discover the long awaited relationship in your life.
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A
male
reader, jezman  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 you really like her...
but how does she feel about you? she has found someone else now. this means that its going to be veerryy hard to win her back...so i wouldn't go there. i know you understand that you two may not have a relationship with each other but you have to really get it in your head. scrunch up even the smallest idea that you will have a relationship with her and throw it in the recycling bin! this will be hard but you can do it. :)
im pretty certain that she is willing to be your friend but you have to ask yourself.
is a friendship with the girl you cant get out of your head what you really need?
trust me, it doesn't help you get over them one little bit.
its going to be desperately hard to let go of 3 years of your life but you must, you really must. :)
try and find someone else and no matter how much the thought of her pops into your head, throw it out because its not going to help you :) keep a clear mind and do whats best for you.
best of luck
keep us informed
jez
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