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female
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anonymous
writes: my fiancee and i have been together for two years until last week said out of the blue that he doesn't want to be with me and he loves me but isn't in love with me and feels he is too young to be in a serious relationship. im still in love with him and know we can work this out but he's barely speaking to me. how can i win back his love and ressurect the relationship?
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 This could mean a number of things. Personally, I would let him do his own thing for awhile. You go out and do yours. I think he is just scared of the whole commitment thing, which is fine most men are. Pick yourself up and get out and do something. If he barely speaks to you then let him be the one to call. I know thats easier said than done but try it. When he does call, and he will you be the friend and good listner. Communication is the key because you're in the dark as to why so you have to find out more information and work from there, but in the mean time enjoy your self and losing you or thinking he has lost you will bring out the best or worst in this whole thing. Good Luck.
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female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (4 June 2006):
Firstly, you don't know that you can work it out - because you don't know why it is that he has said this.
You said that this has come "out of the blue" - how can that be? were you suddenly in love, close, talking, etc one day, and then suddenly he was a different person - OR (more likely) could it be that you haven't really been communicating, and you have missed a lot of signs.
Stop thinking about winning back his love and ressurecting the relationship - the more you do this, the more you will drive him away and the more he won't speak to you. Instead, say something like "I hear what you've said and understand that you want the relationship to end. Would you be prepared to spend some more time talking so that I can understand more about why that is, what has led to it, when things changed" and then LISTEN to him. Don't argue or sulk. Just listen.
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